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Story
+ Angel Hunt ~ Streifen +
Future Effects
Twenty Years brings many changes...
A story collaboration between Angel Hunt and Streifen
Twightlight
[Book 02 : 01]
Lan tightens his grip around the other man’s body and pulls him closer against him, burying his face further in raven hair in an attempt to once again, shake away the fear that continues to plague him. It had been a few weeks since the day he’d first come, weeks since the day he’d seen his partner again as well… He’d thought a lot about that day since it happened, wishing he could have said something to her to ease the look of hate and disappointment that had tainted her eyes, or done anything else for it to have ended differently than it did. But he couldn’t and once again he’d fallen short, turning out to be lacking as both a partner and a friend when all had been said and done. But there was little he could do to change it, and as much as it pained him, he would not see her again… and he’s finding that the longer he spends in the Dark’s presence, the more he truly desires to be able to finally move on. These last few weeks have brought about so many changes within him, so many hopes sprung to life… and with them it seems so many more fears that he can’t escape, even when he sleeps.
Sun warmed eyes slide back open and shift down to the man in his arms once again, the Bright pulling back enough to leave a small kiss to the top of the Dark’s head before marked hands wrap so carefully around slender wrists in order to pull his arm free of his body and allow him to ease himself carefully away. As he slips towards the end of the bed, he reaches down and pulls the blankets up to recover Sashi’s form before sliding softly shaking fingers along layered hair, taking a few moments just to watch the telepath as he remains in uninterrupted sleep.
It takes much for Lan to pull his gaze free, his eyes fixed as if the Dark would fade if he did look away. Finally managing it a few moments later, he stands and reaches down to grab his discarded hakama resting on the mat floor before sliding his legs in one by one. Twisting the ties around his waist loosely, he reaches back for the kimono top, bare feet carrying him silently to the doors of the room soon after, the well oiled hinges making no sound as he exits the room. Just as he slides the door closed behind him, the white haired Bright’s gaze shifts down to find a neatly laid out tray on the side opposite. Squatting down and running long fingers over the pack of cigarettes and cups of tea he knew to be left by Yamashita-san, he smiles at the thoughtful gesture before lifting the pack up and pulling a cigarette free. Straightening, he turns to exit the house while cupping the cigarette in between full lips to allow him to slip himself into the kimono top as he steps out onto the snow covered patio just beyond…
Sashi: The layers of sleep peel away slowly from the telepath, darkness giving way to the strained gray light that seeps in from the windows. Nestling down into the warmth that surrounds his body, he pulls the blankets over his head and takes a deep breath. The bed smells like Lan, fire and smoke mixed with the Bright’s unique scent, all of which he’d become so familiar with over the past weeks. Long fingers slip blindly across the empty sheets beside the Dark, knowing that he won’t find the one they seek, but trying anyway. Lan usually woke first, the nightmares a frequent plague that refused to let him rest for long, so finding himself alone like this first thing in the morning was common.
The raven-haired Selestarri frowns as he pulls his hand back, his guest’s difficulty with sleeping something he’d found he could do little to ease. He didn’t have access to the domains of the Dream Walkers and had only entered Lan’s dream that first time because the psychic backlash had pulled him in. Now he was getting a taste of what Aki had dealt with all those years when Sashi had suffered from recurring nightmares, the feelings of helplessness and the frustration at only being able to wait until they awoke and then giving as much comfort as possible. Sometimes he didn’t even wake while the Bright was trapped; his own sleep too deep to take notice of what was happening beside him. He always feels so guilty when that occurs because he should notice when someone he cares about is in distress and hurting and it often seems like the comfort he tries to bring is too little and too late.
He does care, quite a lot if he’s being truthful. When he’d brought the Bright in from the road he’d never have believed that things would end up like this, but the past couple of weeks have provided enough time for it all to sink in. Events had moved so quickly at first, the change from being alone to finding someone who can relate and understand many of the aspects of his life was, in itself, enough to send his world spinning. He’d been by himself and had handled his own issues for so long that he was concerned that Lan’s presence would be an intrusion, even though he’d asked him to stay. Nothing, however, could be further from the truth. The Bright had slid into the everyday routine of the house as if he’d always lived here and Sashi found that he liked just being near Lan, even if he was working, reading, or writing scrolls, the quiet presence of the white-haired man was more comforting than he could ever have expected. Sometimes they talked and sometimes they just held one another close and as the days passed the telepath found himself becoming more physically and emotionally attracted to Lan.
Despite what he feels he hasn’t spoken to the Bright about it, and his lack of ability to really understand others has kept him from knowing if any of it is returned. He knows that Lan is still in love with his partner and so maybe he’s just a warm body to help ease the hurt a bit, a distraction and nothing else... Tattooed hands slip up to push the blankets away, long fingers raking messy strands of inky black from his face. Sashi stares up at the ceiling and sighs. Even if he could see the answers to his questions in the other Selestarri’s actions or hear it in his words, it’s not like he can trust his own mind anyway. Not when he knows how badly he wants a real relationship. These last few weeks have just been a taste of what it must be like to have someone special and it’s made the longing within him even sharper and more pronounced. He would easily lie to himself, see things that aren’t really there, just to believe for a little while that he could have what others seem to find so easily. God, he’s so pathetic…
Sitting up, Sashi combs through his hair with slender fingers, spreading out his senses to find Lan outside on the porch. The telepath knows that the view of the mountains from this side of the house is one of the Bright’s favorites, so it isn’t unusual to find him out there. Sliding from the bed, he reaches down and pulls his hakama from the pile of clothing beside the mattress, cinching the ties before moving toward the closet. The furthest edges of the room are colder than the area surrounding the platform bed, still not nearly as chilly as they could be given the time of year. Lan had made good on his word to keep the Dark warm, heating the rooms of the house with the fire that constantly burns within him. For the first time in a very long while he hasn’t felt the cold, even in the deepest parts of his body, the parts that never really heated up. It was all supposedly part of the ‘payment’ that they’d worked out in exchange for the Bright staying here, but it means more to Sashi than just that, although he hasn’t found the words to thank Lan.
Pushing the pocket door back, he fishes out a fresh kimono top and t-shirt, slipping into them before turning to cross the room. He absently rubs at his wrist as he moves, the broken bones almost completely healed except for a slight ache in the early morning or late night. It wasn’t nearly the worst he’d ever done to himself, not by half, but Lan and Yamashita-san insisted on taking care of it and seeing that everything set and healed correctly despite his grumbling, and he’d been forced to give in to their ministrations. Snagging a hair tie from the top of his dresser, the telepath twists messy, raven-tinted strands back into a loose ponytail and opens the way into the hall, the usual tray laden with tea waiting patiently on the floor. Stooping, Sashi fills both cups and turns toward the outside door, the teleport magic surrounding him with the barest thought lent to it, his body flashing out of sight just in front of the wall.
The world blinks out for a moment before coming into focus once again, the overcast skies casting dreary light down on the snow covered mountains. The Bright stands near the rail, his back to the house and a thin curl of cigarette smoke wafting into the air. His slender frame is perfectly highlighted by the clothing draped over it, his white hair a match for the wintry landscape beyond. Moving soundlessly over the decking, Sashi carefully balances both cups of tea in one hand, the other reaching out with only the slightest hesitation to trail across the small of Lan’s back as he passes by. He’s still unsure of these gentle, familiar touches, not really knowing if he’s doing it correctly or if it’s something that the other Selestarri even likes. His inexperience with it all must be plain for Lan to see, although the Bright has been nothing but patient with him. Sun warmed yellow eyes meet gray of the same hue as the overhead clouds, and a soft smile spreads over pale features. Scarred fingers touch at his shoulder as the Dark sets the cups on the railing and then slide down to wrap around his waist. He can’t help but to lean just a little into the one beside him, relishing the warmth and the way that just something as simple as this can send a rush of heat throughout his whole body.
Sashi reaches for the pack of cigarettes, slipping one free of the box and lighting it as the two of them stand in comfortable silence. After a while, he finally speaks, quiet in the early morning hush of the surrounding mountainside. [Were you up early with another nightmare or just eager to see the sunrise?]
Lan: the Bright stands near motionless with one arm wrapped loosely at his waist, yellow eyes fixed on the looming mountain and the sun as it cracks through the horizon beyond, immediately shadowed by the shifting clouds in the sky. Pulling the cigarette up to his lips, he inhales the smoke deeply before tilting his head up to blow it into the air above him, then once again returning his hand to his side.
The way his dreams had been shifting over the last few weeks is bothering him, more than the dreams themselves. The images of those hands, the gleaming metal, the pain and fear, all of it now stretching out to rip the only person he’s found in all these years that he’s comfortable around away from him too. He’s always hears them screaming… the people he’s killed and Halacie as well, they’ve always blended together when he sleeps, but now the Dark’s voice has joined them… not only joined but nearly drowned them out… he doesn’t like it at all and he wonders, similar to how he’d wondered when he first came to this house, how long it will take for all of this to sink into his mind, how long until is mind understands that he’s free, that he’s here and unless Sashi decides to cast him out, neither he or the telepath himself will be taken from the other…
A soft smile crosses full lips when the raven haired Selestarri appears behind him with full cups of steaming tea, never removing his gaze from the scenery before him when tattooed fingers trail lightly across his lower back and cause a slight chill to travel along his spine. Sashi’s gaze meets his when he looks over and his smile renews as he pulls his arm away from his own waist to reach out and touch at the Dark’s shoulder before tracing down and wrapping his arm around the other man’s slender waist. Removing a cigarette from the pack left on the wooden beams of the railing before them, the two stand in a comfortable silence he’d grown so fond of over the weeks that had already passed them by.
It didn’t matter to him if they were talking, or if they say nothing at all. He enjoys simply being around the Dark… feeling his presence fill up his senses, the warmth of his body, the small gestures and nuances he has and does, every small detail of his face and his frame and each slight movement he makes. He enjoys the small hesitant touches he lends him, the way Sashi seems so unsure of these moments as well… the fact that he makes Lan feel as if he has someone to protect again, someone he can hold close, someone he can care for and who might care for him in return. He enjoys that Sashi makes him feel almost normal again without much of an effort, how easily he can forget all the broken pieces when he’s caught in those thunder cloud color eyes. He enjoys that he can walk without binding his skin away, and that he rarely feels the need to do it when they are together. He enjoys it all… every single moment and unfortunately, the more he finds himself comfortable, the stronger the fear is that he’ll lose this and the louder the screams in his nightmares seem to become with each passing day.
He says nothing though – because he doesn’t want to burden Sashi with the chaos inside of his head or the nightmares that have stretched out to include him. He feels in a way that if he dares even saying it to him, the spell would be broken and this house, the man standing besides him, the nights they share in each other’s arms and the days spent similar to this truly will fade away … so he keeps his fears of loss and the dreams to himself, working to purge them from his thoughts so he can simply enjoy this closeness he feels they’ve begun to share. He wants to focus in on every moment he can instead of each moment he might lose.
Scarred fingers slide the smoldering cigarette to his lips in order to take another drag as the telepath’s quiet words break the silence. Holding the smoke in for a little longer than normal, he tightens his grip on Sashi’s waist and pulls him just a little closer to him as he blows it out, his gaze once again fixing on the mountain range before them. [Same as usual…] his own quiet words are spoken softly as the Bright’s sun warmed gaze shifts over to the side. . [But nothing that won’t pass along with the day itself.] Sliding the cigarette up to his mouth once more, he cups it in between full lips while pulling his hand away from the slim body to his side in order to turn and face him. Marked fingers trail up to brush long strands of black away from his line of vision, taking a moment to slide over each contour and feature of his face before slipping his hand down to grasp onto Sashi’s soon after. Reaching up to pull the last remnants of the cigarette free, it combusts in mid drop as he slides forward to pull the other man against him, yellow eyes slipping shut as he leans in to touch his lips in ebony hair. [I’m sorry if I woke you… but I’m glad you are here because the sunrise seems empty without you near…]
Sashi: The half-burned cigarette drops from tanned fingers as the Bright pulls him close, gray eyes sliding shut as his head rests against the narrow shoulder and a new infusion of heat warms him to the core. It takes such little effort to ease into Lan’s embrace, to allow himself to relax, and it scares him a little. He’s always been so guarded around others, hidden behind well fortified walls and facades to keep from being hurt. Yet this man, still mostly unknown to him, arrives out of nowhere and changes so much. Lan brings strength and protection and makes him feel as though it’ll be okay to open up a bit, to reveal the parts of himself that only two others have ever seen without fear of hurt or rejection. When they’re close, he finds himself thinking less and less of the fractures and tears that mar him on the inside, taking more chances and saying things that would leave him wide open to hurt should the Bright choose to use it all against him.
Sashi knows that Lan is still in love with his partner, he can see it in his face and hear it in his voice when he speaks of her. The taller man carries a lot of guilt and a lot of pain from her death, so much that it may very well bar him from loving anyone else ever again. The Dark knows it well from his own broken partnership, how destructive those things can be when it comes to moving on or trying to be with anyone else. True, their circumstances are different and there were other factors involved in all of Sashi’s problems, but he can’t help but feel that with all those things going on, he’s setting himself up to be hurt again. Despite the warnings of his past, he can’t deny that he has some kind of feelings for the Bright, even if he can’t sort out just how deep they are, and he very much doubts that they will fade away as they spend more time together.
Velvet lips press against tangled strands of black, the other Selestarri’s words causing a tingling ripple to move through him. Plenty of times in his life Sashi has had similar things spoken to him, seeking to flatter, persuade, or otherwise manipulate, but coming from Lan he hears nothing but sincerity. The white-haired Bright truly seems pleased to have him close by and it means so much to know that he’s wanted for who he actually is, even with all the cracks and breaks. If it turns out in the end that he’s read Lan wrong and misunderstood the time they’ve spent together, then at least he’ll know that for a while he had this small taste of what relationships are like for other people. He’ll know what it is to be held, to be touched with gentleness, to share his bed, to just be very comfortable in the presence of another. If his feelings do turn out to be unrequited, then at least he’ll have that, and maybe it won’t hurt so much. At this moment, however, he hopes for once in his life to be feeling these things and hearing these words because they’re real, because Lan cares about him in some way. Even with all the reservations and fears, he finds that he hopes for it more than anything…
Long arms riddled with inky black tattoos slide up to wrap around the Bright’s back, grasping onto the loose fabric of the kimono and returning the closeness as he leans even further into the slim form. [You didn’t wake me,] the telepath reassures his houseguest, pausing as he works to get the next words out. [The bed was empty, too… without you near…] It’s so hard for him to open up like this, to expose these small parts of himself. He’s trying though, trying to learn to trust Lan since the taller Selestarri has been nothing but kind and patient. Sashi raises his head just enough for storm gray eyes to catch warm yellow, the soft smile on the other man’s lips a sign that what he said had been favorably accepted. The rising sun slips out from behind the heavy bank of clouds for a moment, casting the Bright in glowing shades of yellow and dusty red that shine through shaggy white hair and gild pale features. He looks beautiful, all light and warmth, and the telepath can’t resist tilting his face a little so that their lips meet in a slow kiss.
The slender frame wrapped around him pulls him even tighter, one hand sliding up to tangle in loosely tied, coal-tinted strands. Whatever his misgivings and doubts, Sashi cannot deny the feeling he gets when they kiss, the heat that moves through him in little spirals and the way his heart seems to beat louder and the blood rush faster through his veins. It’s thrilling and comforting all at once, winding him up and soothing over raw, jagged edges all at the same time and even though it makes him feel a bit dizzy and weak in the legs, he’s finding that he really, really likes it. It’s been so long since a kiss has made him feel anything at all, and now to feel this is a change that he hadn’t been prepared for, but that he likes very much. When they finally pull away from one another, Sashi rests his cheek against Lan’s, his hands tightening their hold on the kimono.
The comfortable silence thickens around them once again, the Dark noticing that it’s begun to snow before his thoughts turn to the Bright’s nightmares. The dreams that plague his guest are frequent and terrible, leaving him shaking and robbing him of his sleep. It’s an all too familiar scenario for the raven-haired Selestarri, although the memories of his own struggles with recurring nightmares are of little aid when he tries to help Lan. He’s considered asking his brother to help, to block the dreams if possible, but he hasn’t called him yet because he’s not actually sure how to explain everything that’s happened within the past few weeks. How can he even begin to answer the questions that Zephyr’s bound to have when he can’t even answer them for himself? The younger Dark is also extremely protective and Sashi knows he’ll have no qualms about walking directly into Lan’s memories if he thinks he’ll be watching out for his older brother in any way.
Sashi sighs and moves a little closer to the Bright. It’s best if he figures things out for himself before getting Zeph involved—better for himself and better for Lan in the long run. [The nightmares are hard,] he begins, trying to find some words that may be of even a little help. [My brother is a Dream Walker and he says that nightmares are as much a part of our subconscious as dreams are. Instead of playing out our fantasies, they play out our fears, forcing us to relive our worst moments and them twisting them into something even more terrifying…] Zeph had also said that nightmares can be damaging and fatal and the telepath is living proof of just how dangerous they can be. [I wish that I could tell you that they fade with time… but the Seeker manipulated me for so many years that I really don’t know…] He sighs again, gray eyes staring out at the swirling flakes that melt before ever touching them. [If I can do something to help ease them, then I will…]
Warm breath washing across his neck begins to slowly lull him away from the blackness of unconsciousness and he furrows his brows as the bright morning light filters in behind closed lids before tilting his head down beneath the heavy comforter in an attempt to escape it soon after. Tightening his grip on the arms that enshroud him, the pink and white haired Angel mumbles something incoherent in Angelic as he begins to drift back off into uninterrupted sleep.
Moments later a hard, playful nip at his ear rips him right back up to the surface, pulling a quiet, surprised sound to his lips. Slipping his hand away from the arm that holds him, Jun reaches back and pushes at the Dark’s face in retaliation without ever opening his eyes. Amused laughter spills from the one behind him as he’s shoved away in the slightest before the Angel curls himself tighter into a ball while turning his head down against the pillow even as tapered fingers find their way into long white strands to brush them away from his neck
[It’s too early to get up…] he mumbles sleepily despite the chill that runs along his spine from the soft trickling touch at his skin and in his hair. [Come back later… like when it’s dark and the light isn’t pissing me off…]
Zephyr: The Angel’s hand pushes his face away and he can’t help but to laugh, knowing how much Jun hates to get up before he’s good and ready. Strands of white-gold fall into his eyes as he shakes his head in amusement and the Angel curls up into the tightest ball he can manage. No matter how many amazing breakfasts he cooks or how much he tries to tempt and lure or how many years pass, his boyfriend will never be a morning person. Too bad he’s not getting a choice today.
[It’s snowing in the mountains of Japan, so lets go visit Sashi.] He’d checked the weather forecast on the internet and was thrilled to see that the mountain range that held his brother’s town was expected to be waist deep in snow by noon. [I want to get out on the powder before it packs down and you know Yamashita-san will make all your favorites and spoil you rotten once we get there.] The older Japanese woman is the perfect example of the traditional homemaker, catering to his brother’s visitors with homemade meals and treats. When she had learned that he liked baklava she had made every effort to learn to prepare it and now every time he visited she would make a fresh batch. She cares a lot for Sashi and although he’d never admit it, Zeph knows that the telepath is fond of her as well.
None of that, however, is fixing his current problem: the unmoving lump that is the person he loves more than anyone in the world. The Dark manages to slip his arm around Jun’s waist, grasping tight to the arm that lies pinned beneath the Angel and without warning, rolls back and pulls the pink and white haired man with him. A startled noise slips from Jun at the sudden movement, and the Selestarri smiles. Unwilling to give in without a fight, Jun throws his weight into it, half twisting in Zephyr’s grip and getting his arms between his body and the Dark’s. Without allowing the blonde to stop, the Angel forces the roll to continue, pushing up when Zeph’s on top of him and breaking half of the hold. Slender fingers dart for the blankets, latching on and pulling them half over his head before they’re wrenched away. And then it’s on. Back and forth they wrestle, Jun trying to reclaim the darkness of sleep and Zeph doing everything in his power to keep it from him all while laughing. They roll across the mattress for several minutes, grasping and pulling at each other, bodies grinding and muscle straining as they both attempt to gain what they desire. Finally, breath coming in heavy pants, they’re forced to stop as they gasp for air and collapse into one another.
The Dark rests his forehead against his boyfriend’s as they work to regain control of their breathing, midnight eyes staring into dawn-tinted pink. He playfully presses his mouth to Jun’s, meaning the kiss to be short, but the Angel threads his fingers into white-gold hair and holds him in place. The taste of the other man washes over him, its effect the same as it had been when they first got together all those years ago, and he eagerly lets it deepen, hips pressing down just slightly. The excitement stirred up by the wrestling is mutual, the motion returned and sending a blaze of heat down his spine. He can feel every inch of the perfectly toned body beneath him, his hands craving to touch, and when Jun finally breaks away, it’s Zeph who holds him in place, a wicked smile on his lips. [It’s going to snow all day, so maybe we don’t have to leave just yet…]
Jun: Nearly every day something like this happens. Zeph wants him up and he doesn’t want to comply and after all these years of them living together, he’d really have thought that his boyfriend would have gotten it that he’s really not up for waking first thing in the morning. He feels mornings are way overrated, and the sun that everyone is so on about to be nothing more than an annoyance he could live without. He’ll never understand everyone’s fascination with the crack of dawn, or why anyone would willingly give up the warmth and comfort of their bed and whoever happens to be sharing it with them just to immerse themselves in light that isn’t planning on going anywhere at any point soon. But as he continues to wrestle with the other man, fighting so hard to regain the blankets he’d already lost, he has to admit that this part of the routine was making it more than a little worthwhile.
The pink and white haired Angel leans up, biting playfully at his boyfriend’s bottom lip while his hands slip along the structured form above him, a wicked grin of his own forming soon after. [There’s a hell of a lot of things I can think of that we could be doing right now instead going out into the cold…] Pink eyes slide shut as the Dark leans down to touch full lips to his neck and he tilts his head back to expose more of it while his hands continue to trickle over every curve of muscle and contour of skin above him. A surge of electrified fire races along his spine and the gasp that spills free of his mouth when teeth playfully score his flesh pulls a smile to the blonde’s lips, sending his own body arching up in the slightest in response and slim hips pressing in even tighter than before. [This … is definitely one of them…] he says before pulling his back free of the bedding beneath him in order to press his mouth against the blonde’s while tapered fingers find their way to the loose pajama pants that barely cling to his frame and easily slip them away. It really hasn’t mattered how many years have passed them by, Zeph has always known the exact thing to do, or just the right way to touch him in order to set him off and it’s one of those things that he absolutely loves about the Dark and always will. No one has ever been able to turn him on the way his boyfriend can or play his body so effortlessly the way that he does.
A soft moan leaves his mouth when nimble hands trace along his thigh before slipping beneath to slide his leg up, allowing the Selestarri to reposition himself directly between. Jun’s own fingers trail across the toned body above, reaching quickly over to wrap around slender wrists just as his dawn colored gaze slides back to meet gold streaked blue. […But what if I’m not in the mood to do it right now?] The Angel teases, his words shifting tinted midnight eyes down towards obviously excited flesh and causing an amused smile to form on both their lips before the pink and white haired man suddenly rolls them over to reverse the position they had just been in. A few swift movements brings him up on his knees, long legs straddling the one beneath him as tapered fingers tangle quickly in shoulder length strands of white gold.
[Fuck... I can’t keep anything from you can I…?] Long white hair spills across narrow shoulders as he leans down to brush his lips against the Dark’s, the action pressing lithe bodies against one another seconds before their mouths meet for a passionate kiss that deepens so rapidly it kicks the raging desire he’s already feeling up about a hundred fold, every part of his body is suddenly screaming for the satiation that only his boyfriend can give. Zephyr’s hands move quickly towards his thighs as they finally manage to break away and the Angel’s head falls back in the slightest while the blonde marks fiery trails along his neck that burst to life beneath his skin, each soft kiss and playful nip given lighting up every single nerve. [I think… maybe I need to be punished for lying…] A partial moan, partial whimper spills from his lips when the Dark’s own flesh teases beneath him through the final layer of thin cloth that separates their bodies and he rolls his head back down, lust filled pink eyes meeting gold soon after. [So hard… until I beg you to stop…]
Zephyr: The world momentarily spins when the Angel reverses their positions, the softness of the mattress and blankets cushioning the swift movement. Long legs settle on either side of his hips, the close proximity that it brings their bodies almost lost in the wave of sizzling sparks that erupt when slender fingers thread into his hair. Hard steaks of gold slide through the Dark’s vision, edging the one who captures all of his attention with a fine sheen of gilt and nearly stealing his breath away with how beautiful it makes the pink and white haired man. Even with the span of years that they’d been together, Zephyr still has these moments where he’s in awe of just how amazing Jun is and just how much of his mind, body, soul, and love are freely and willing given to him. Hands down, it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and he knows that even when he’s old and his life is at its end, loving the Angel will still be the highlight of it all…
The Selestarri’s thoughts are wrenched away when Jun shifts down to graze against his mouth, the whole world almost drowned completely out as their bodies align and press against one another and the kiss quickly deepens. With every passing moment, the hunger he has for his boyfriend becomes sharper, the need to touch him from head to toe, to run his hands over flawless, milky skin building inside him with so much strength that if it doesn’t get satisfied soon he’ll fall into madness. It’s just one of the many things he loves about the other man, how close to the edge of control Jun can push him, allowing Zeph to indulge in the baser side of his Dark genetics even though he’d be in true danger if his hold were to shatter. It’s a testament to the trust that’s between them that even with the possible risk, Jun will let him be as aggressive, rough, and possessive as he’d like. It probably doesn’t hurt that the Angel is turned on by all that, either.
Kissing and nipping at the long line of his boyfriend’s neck, the blonde smiles at the suggestion of punishment and the sound that accompanies it when he slightly raises his hips to tease sensitive flesh. The urge to feel the searing heat of the Angel’s body, to claim him and to punish as he’s been asked is only barely overridden by his love of drawing things out for as long as possible. Fingertips trace a line down Jun’s thighs, brushing with the lightest touch before twisting in the blankets as the Selestarri grips tight in order to push himself backward. In a fluid motion Zeph sits up, his bare back meeting the cold wood of the headboard while his eyes remain locked with pools the color of the early dawn. [I keep punishing you, but you never seem to learn from it.] Reaching out, he grasps the Angel’s shoulder and spins him around before tugging him backward. Chest and back collide and the Dark slips his arms around to hold Jun tight against him, his teeth roughly scraping the junction of shoulder and neck. Hips instinctively grind together, pushed by the need that surges through them and electrifies the air, the movement sending the pink and white haired man arching back with a low moan. [Maybe you enjoy being naughty a little too much?] A small pattern removes the last barrier between them and Zephyr pulls Jun downward, so close that he can feel the searing heat and brush against skin as soft as the finest velvet, but not close enough to give the Angel what he desires. A small noise of desperation issues from the one he’s wrapped around, one hand reaching up to tangle in messy white-gold and the other bracing against the Dark’s legs. Both men are panting slightly in anticipation, this game between them very familiar. Sliding his mouth along Jun’s neck, Zeph bites at his ear as fingers press into the soft skin of narrow hips. [Or maybe I just need to be more forceful with you…]
Gripping tight, he pulls Jun down slowly, entering inch by inch, the room ringing with the echoes of their strained voices. God, he can never get enough of this, never get enough of the Angel’s scorching heat that turns his blood to liquid fire. A heavy shudder moves through the other man when their bodies are completely flush, long white hair cascading over the Selestarri’s shoulder as Jun’s head drops back. With the same forced slowness he pulls them almost completely apart, the Angel lifted all the way up on his knees before pushing in again. He repeats the motion over and over, each time pressing deeper, seeking to make it all last as long as possible. Jun’s breathing hard, his half-lidded eyes glazed with lust and his body trembling. Zeph can feel his heart racing just as fast as his own, the link between them already forming as the white-tinted, magic fueled desire surges through him. As much as he loves the slow teasing, it’s getting too difficult to ignore the demands of his body for something harder, faster, something that will push them both over the edge and satiate the burning need.
Easing the Angel upward, the Dark pushes him forward so that he falls onto his hands, quickly shifting his position so that he’s behind Jun. His fingers trace over the reddened areas on pale skin, outlining the marks that claim this person as the one he loves more than anything in the world. Dropping kisses along the slender curve of his boyfriend’s spine, Zephyr grinds up against him. [Now that I know I have your attention, I want to hear you beg.] Without warning, he thrusts in hard and deep, the low moan that slips from his throat easily drowned out by the cry of the man beneath him…
Jun: His entire body arches back hard as the Dark thrusts deeply inside, the loud cry that spills from his lips drowning out the low moan that slips free of the man behind him. Tapered fingers reach swiftly forward and wrap around long strands of white, yanking both the Angel’s head and his slender form back against him to rip a partial whimper, partial cry from his mouth when the action sends their bodies crashing together with so much force that he feels like he’ll split in two. Fuck, he loves this so much. He’s never been able to get enough of the Dark’s body inside of him or the electric fire he causes just by being near. Everything about the other man turns him on - his taste, his smell, the feel of his skin, his breath, the way he looks at him and the depth of his eyes, the sound of his voice, the feel of his mind, the way he commands the Angel to beg and the way Jun knows he’ll soon give in and do it - all of him both inside and out. He just loves every single thing about his boyfriend, he has from the very first day they met and he will until the day he dies.
Sweat continues to bead up and slick across toned skin as they move, increasing the friction between their bodies a hundred fold. The hard grip in his hair that snaps his frame back a little harder with each new thrust in tightens as he begins to meet narrow hips with his own, the pain mixed pleasure driving him mercilessly down the road towards that sought after edge. The Selestarri soon leans in to slip his free hand around marked skin, the movements of his fingers ghosting so teasingly close to his flesh that he nearly topples over as the overwhelming sensations the near touch causes shockwave through every single nerve. Zephyr repeats his earlier command; pushing strained words out through ragged breaths while the thickness in the air mixes with the sweat and heat that already drenches it, making it near impossible for him to catch a breath long enough to obey. This was a game they both enjoyed so often. The blonde haired Selestarri always manages to deny him what he wants while giving him exactly what he needs each and every time.
The grip in his hair tightens so harshly that he can feel strands rip free of their follicles, the motions growing near fevered and threatening to drive him absolutely crazy. He knows he really will go crazy if he’s not given release soon and so he begs, pleads with the one he loves to be granted the thing only Zephyr can give him. “Please” Rasping words are forced out in between the sounds that still escape him. “Zeph, I can’t… can’t take it anymore… oh fuck” the pink and white haired Angel moans as the edge looms so very near. “Please”
Just as the final word leaves his lips, he’s yanked harshly back by his hair and pulled free of his hands soon after. Jun’s back meets Zephyr’s chest and a long arm wraps swiftly around his waist while the other wraps quickly around his flesh. The Dark thrusts into his body deep, causing dawn colored eyes to clamp shut and sending his head falling back onto the narrow shoulder behind him as the dam finally breaks to push him right over. The pink and white haired Angel’s cries once again taint the air even as full lips touch at his neck and a low moan reverberates against slick skin, the hard shudders that wrack his slender frame dragging the blonde with him in release as well.
For many long minutes afterwards, they remain as is before tapered fingers finally slide away from him, the Dark’s hand joining the one that remains wrapped tightly around his waist to hold him tight while their bodies continue to calm with every new second that passes them by. Jun slumps into the other man’s embrace, the sounds of their combined heavy breathing filling the otherwise silent room that surrounds them before pink eyes crack open and stare up at the high ceiling above. “I think… I want pancakes … for breakfast…” the Angel’s raspy words pull an amused smile to the Selestarri’s lips before he turns his mouth down to playfully nip at his neck, sending a hard chill traveling beneath Jun’s skin. His own hands find the arms that hold him to thread their fingers together and Zephyr lifts him up in the slightest, pulling a gasp from his lips as his body slides completely free before he sits back onto his legs and slides the Angel along with him...
Zephyr: A wide smile spreads over the Dark’s face at his boyfriend’s breakfast request and he drops a playful bite onto pale, sweat slick skin. He loves the mornings that they can spend like this, comfortable and happy in one another’s arms, sharing the moments that had bound them so firmly together over the past two decades. There isn’t another person in the world he’d want to share his bed, his thoughts, or his life with besides Jun and no one could ever make him happier. Everything he is, was, or will be is given freely to the Angel and is returned in kind. The love between them is strong and deep and there isn’t a day that goes by that he isn’t thankful for it.
Tapered fingers lace between his own and the blonde hugs Jun a little closer before lifting him up just enough to allow himself to slip free. Shifting to a sitting position, he draws the pink and white haired man down with him, settling the slender frame back against his chest and once again lightly kissing the Angel’s neck. “I love you,” he says quietly, “and I’ll make your pancakes since you were kind enough to wake up.” He doesn’t move right away, though, and instead just enjoys holding the one he loves as the magical screen that keeps the full strength of the sun’s light at bay begins to dissolve and the room is bathed in bright gold.
The Dark’s thoughts turn toward his brother and a slight frown slides across his face. “Sashi will be happy to see us. He must have been working on a deadline or something the last time I talked with him because he seemed a bit preoccupied.” The whole conversation had lasted ten minutes and that was only after several days of sending unanswered text messages and messenger spells. Not that it’s unusual in any way for the older Selestarri to become completely absorbed when he was working, but it took a direct threat to send someone to check on him before Sashi called him back. Zeph sighs and shakes his head just slightly. “I know he works hard and takes on a bunch of stuff just to stay busy, but sometimes I worry that he’s a little unnecessary with it all. Not that I think he shouldn’t find ways to fill his time, but I don’t know… maybe if he just did a little less and relaxed more…” What he really wants is to see his brother happy. Things had come a long way since the telepath had moved to Japan, but there’s still a lot of sadness wrapped up in him and nothing the blonde or Aki had tried had seemed to help him heal completely.
Jun turns his head just enough for deep pink eyes to meet midnight and after a moment, Zephyr pulls out of his own thoughts enough to smile at him. “Anyway, it’ll be good to see him. I’ll get to snowboard and you’ll get spoiled by Yamashita-san,” he presses a short kiss against the Angel’s lips and squeezes him tightly one last time before easing Jun from his lap. “Let’s go clean up…”
Lan: the soft sounds of key after key tapping fills the otherwise silent room that surrounds him while sun warmed eyes remain fixed out through the thickened paper window on the fluffy white flakes that spill from the deceptively bright mid day sky above. Long scarred fingers slide the half burnt cigarette up to his lips and he inhales deeply before lowering his hand back onto his upturned knee, the smoke that trails away from full lips rising to meet the thick layer that already blankets the upper part of the room above. Typing stops momentarily as the Dark reaches out to pull his own smoldering stick free of the ash tray near his small laptop, the sounds resuming immediately after.
They’d been this way for an hour or so. One working while the other sits near, both simply enjoying the company they provide for one another. Lan was finding that he could easily stay like this for hours, just listening to a growing familiar sound that he was drawing more and more comfort from. It was soothing really, to have Sashi there behind him or to feel his presence close by. He’s tried to hold on to this feeling when he falls asleep, tried to keep the quiet peace the other Selestarri brings him and hold it close in hopes that it might act like a manner of shield to keep the screams and fear and pain away. He wants this peace and tranquility to be stronger and he hopes, along with everything he’s found himself hoping, that it will become so some time soon…
[I’ve been thinking…] the Bright says quietly without pulling his gaze away from the window as the typing continues uninterrupted behind him. […About my wings… about what I’ve lost…or… I guess I should say what they took from me…] The sounds of clacking keyboard stops abruptly but he continues to stare at the falling snow in the grounds beyond, sliding his cigarette up to take another slow drag. [I …watched them cut them off me…] lowering the cigarette only in the slightest, yellow eyes narrow and his tone grows a little distant and low [They wouldn’t allow me to scream… I couldn’t even cry out when they did it, but I felt it all…] Lan’s words trail and he falls silent. Blood… There was so much blood and so much pain. More pain than he could bear. So much more than he could bear… He’d wanted them to kill him, couldn’t understand why they were doing it, why they wouldn’t just let him die. It hurt, everything hurt… so much, it hurt...
The fire inside of his body surges hard behind his barriers as the memories surface and he blinks, working quickly to pull himself away from his thoughts and calm it before it can break free. Sliding his hand up, he pushes at shaggy strands and lets a small, quiet sigh go [I had said I’d come to terms with it in a way… and I had really…but… lately I’m finding that I want to fly again… with you… and I hope-] His words are interrupted by the soft sounds of footfalls as Yamashita-san steps into the room carrying a tray of fresh tea and some elegantly arranged array of food. The Bright’s sun warmed gaze shifts away from the window finally when she sets it down on the small table, offering them both a polite bow and a smile that he returns soon after. “Thank you.”
Sashi: Tattooed fingers move smoothly over the keyboard, gray eyes trained on the words that appear on the screen in long, straight columns of Japanese symbols, the sound of the keys broken only when he pauses to consult his notes or to take a drag from an ever-present cigarette. He needs to get this done and sent out to his editor before the man took it upon himself to come out here to check on his progress. This particular company was very traditional and believed in paying those kind of social calls with their staff writers and he would much rather do without a visit. The deadline had already passed and as it was he’d received several emails anxiously asking after his current status.
Lan sits before the large window on the other side of the kotatsu, slowly smoking cigarettes from the pack at his side and watching the snowfall. At first Sashi had thought that having the Bright in the study would be much too distracting while he was trying to work, and he was surprised to find the complete opposite to be true. He feels comfortable enough around the white-haired man that it’s not difficult to concentrate and still enjoy the closeness of having him nearby. It takes a moment for quiet words to break through the telepath’s train of thought, and the mention of the Bright’s wings halts the movement of his fingers and drops the room into silence. Sashi takes another drag of his cigarette, storm colored eyes lifting over the top of the screen to study the lithe form that’s still turned toward the window. Hearing about the loss of his guest’s wings gives him a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach, as if his body can’t react in any other way to something he finds so incomprehensible. Without a doubt, he’d die if his wings were taken and he was denied the wind and sky. If the shock of losing them didn’t kill him, he knows he’d commit suicide. It had been hard enough when he was Streaked and his wings were too sick to support his weight, but that had only lasted a handful of years. Flying is one of the things in life that he loves and there had been times in the past when it had helped pull him from hurt and despair. The tone of the Bright’s voice indicates that he’s still wounded from it all and Sashi doesn’t know what to say without sounding overly pitying.
Without warning Lan’s magic surges hard, fire and smoke filling the Dark’s senses so rapidly that he automatically readies a psionic attack to knock the other Selestarri out. His body tenses to unleash the strike, well trained and conditioned after so many years of fighting, but Lan suddenly pulls the energy under control, locking it down behind his barriers and after a moment Sashi relaxes. The Bright sighs and brushes at his hair before his words once again filter through the link only to be cut off by the arrival of the housekeeper with breakfast. Yamashita-san sets the laden tray on the low table, bows to each of them in turn, and then slides the door shut behind her when she leaves.
Rising to his feet, the Dark lifts the tray and steps around the kotatsu to place it on the floor beside Lan. Pouring two cups of steaming tea, he tries to gather his thoughts as he slides one toward the Bright. Setting the kettle down, he slowly reaches out to touch the smooth, pale skin of the other man’s wrist, gray eyes focused on the movement of his fingers. [I’m sorry that they took them from you…] His hand slips down to gently hold Lan’s, unsure if what he’s saying or doing is right or even wanted and knowing that just as with everything else his inexperience with the situation is showing plainly. He wants to be a comfort to him in the same way that Lan has comforted him over these past few weeks, even if he is probably fucking it up terribly. [I’m sorry that they didn’t even grant you the mercy of being unconscious through it all…] Storm tinted eyes rise to meet warm yellow. [I wish we could fly together, too. It’s something I would have really liked to share with you.] He’d tried to be as discreet as possible about going out to fly, waiting until the other Selestarri was in the bath or out walking around the grounds. There’s enough pain in the Bright already and Sashi doesn’t want to be a reminder of what had been done to him…
Lan: Sun warmed eyes meet thunder cloud gray and he smiles, closing his own damaged fingers around the hand that holds them. The Bright slides his burnt cigarette into the tray resting on the window ledge at his side before he reaches over to touch his fingertips near long ebony strands. The white haired Selestarri begins to lose himself in the movements as he carefully brushes coarse black hair away from the Dark’s line of vision, quickly finding himself struck with the same thoughts that had found him the very first day he’d laid his eyes on the other man all those weeks ago.
Beautiful… He found Sashi to be very beautiful. He can’t remember there ever being another aside from Halacie that he found as beautiful...
His fingers slip free of the Dark’s hair to trace down along the contours of his face, slowly framing the structured jaw before him before trailing over to the Dark’s lips and tracing so softly along the line of his mouth. His yellow gaze rises up to meet storm cloud grey, holding them for a long moment before he catches himself and curls his fingers back, dropping his hand into his lap. [There’s something I’ve wanted to show you...] Slipping his fingers away from Sashi’s, the white haired Bright rises up to his feet and holds his hand out for the other man to take. Hesitating for only a moment before reaching up, the telepath allows himself to be pulled to his feet soon after. Without letting go, Lan turns and leads the other Selestarri towards the door of the study, continuing into the hallway and out of the house only a few short minutes later.
The thick white blanket of deep snow melts around their bodies as he leads Sashi away from the house and into the grounds, a pathway cleared for them by magic he can barely control. Fluffy flakes fall all around them, not one ever touching either man as the Bright continues to lead the raven haired Dark towards the forested area that frames the outer section of land. […Last year, after I’d began to pull myself back together, I started trying to control what had been controlling me since it was put inside of my body…] His quiet words break the silence of the surrounding air, his hand tightening around Sashi’s in the slightest as he continues to speak. [The scars on my fingers… many of the ones that cover my arms and my legs were from back then… eventually I started to get a handle on it though and now it’s rare that it burns me as well... hopefully one day I’ll be able to handle it completely…] Two thirds of the way beyond the house they’d left behind, Lan comes to a halt and slips his fingers away from Sashi’s grip, taking a few steps further away from him before turning around to meet the Dark’s gaze. […They aren’t solid… I haven’t figured out how to make them solid yet… but… one day I will and when that day happens… I want to share the skies with you…]
As his words trail, a spark of fire flickers near his feet before a solid wave forms around him. The line of fire begins to wrap around his slender body, spiraling upward until the snaking tendrils reach his chest. Winding around him, the fire moves quickly towards his back before coming to rest at scarred shoulder blades resting beneath layers of cloth. The flame dances behind him for only a moment before snaking out, joined soon after by new tendrils until they begin to take shape…
Sashi: The Dark holds very still as scarred fingers trace over his hair, barely breathing when the soft, careful touch moves to his jaw and then along the line of his mouth. Heat flares up just beneath the surface of his skin at each place that Lan’s fingers travel, the sensation one he’s come to know quite well in the past few weeks, and one he likes very much. It’s an amazing feeling when the Bright touches him like this, as if he’s special or as if he’s somehow important to the other Selestarri beyond an empty bed and warm body. He wonders if Lan knows what it means to him to be treated so gently and how much he loves it. If he does then there’s no sign of it in the warm yellow eyes that hold his gaze, just the softness he always sees there…
The white-haired Bright pulls away from him a second later, rising to his feet and pulling the telepath up with him. Curious as to what Lan wishes to show him, Sashi remains silent as he’s lead out of the house and through the snow-blanketed grounds. The air is thick with fat, swirling flakes, the uniform beauty that they create over the landscape much more appealing when they melt before reaching him. Normally he hates winter and the unending cold that wracks his body, but with Lan’s borrowed heat he’s been able to enjoy it for the first time in more years than he can remember. Not that he’s going to run out and immerse himself in a snowdrift like his brother would do, but his abhorrence of the season has ebbed quite a bit.
Or maybe it’s just the company he now keeps…
Sashi pushes the thought away, reminding himself of the pain that unrequited feelings bring and concentrating instead on what the Bright is saying as they head for the thick line of the forest. He knows that Lan comes out onto the grounds to practice the control of his magic, he can sense the build-up and release of the energy and he remembers all too well when he had to handle his own power in a similar way. In the end it’s always better to siphon some of it off rather than risk losing control. In their talks over the past few weeks, the Bright had never straight out mentioned the difficulty he must have with manipulating the fire within him, even though it’s fairly obvious to anyone who understands how magic works. Attempting to align two forces of energy is very hard since each will strive for dominance until one wins out over the other. Lan has three different forms of magic fighting over his body and it stands to reason that the most explosive of them, the fire elemental magic, is the one that’s the most difficult and dangerous to restrain.
Just beyond the first row of trees scarred fingers slip from his as the other Selestarri slows and then stops. The Dark pushes strands of hair from his face and watches with interest as flames fan out in a wall around the slender frame before him, a wave of heat spilling out to melt every flake of snow in a fifteen foot area. The flickering fire begins to circle around the Bright, closer and closer until it almost seems as though he’ll surely burn as well before it shifts and coalesces near his shoulder blades. Tendrils twist out to either side, arching upward even as new flames appear to drape like a long, flowing blanket of embers. After a moment the movement stops and thundercloud tinted eyes widen just slightly as Sashi realizes what he’s staring at.
Wings. Gorgeous, shimmering wings alight with hues of crimson, orange, and gold, sparks trailing from the edges of the ‘feathers’ to sizzle against the ground. Lan has focused his magic to return what’s been stolen from him. The irony of the Bright having used what the Angels have given him to replace what they took doesn’t escape him, but his thoughts are tied up in what Lan said about wanting to share the skies. [Did you decide to do this just so we could—] Sashi cuts the words off in mid-sentence, realizing just how much he’s jumping to a conclusion before thinking things through. [Never mind,] he quickly amends, voice dropping low and gray eyes looking past the Bright to stare at the shifting flame. [It’s selfish of me to think that…] Of course the white-haired man would want to find a way to replace his wings and fly again and it has nothing to do with the telepath. Wings are a defining aspect of the Selestarri identity and culture, something that sets them apart, that opens up the entire world of the skies and to be without them must be like constantly missing a piece of yourself. It only makes sense that Lan would work so hard at this after the Angels had tried to strip him of his heritage.
Keeping his eyes trained on the wings, Sashi pushes the thoughts to the back of his head and walks behind the Bright. Seeking to drown out the embarrassment at the assumption, he studies the fiery appendages for a long moment before speaking. [You can probably use a binding spell to harness them to your body, which I’m guessing would be necessary once you tried to get off the ground since nothing else would physically anchor you to the flame. A second one, similarly constructed might keep the fire in an ordered pattern and stop it from dissipating at the edges and fucking up the air flow…] The raven-haired Dark frowns a little and absently brushes at his hair once again. [That’s not going to make them solid, though, so you’ll probably need to find a way to thread in some earth runes to give it density, or maybe water to bind the gas particles and create the same cohesive aspects as a cloud. The trick would be insulating the water from evaporating in the heat…] He drifts off in thought, moving around to take in the wings from the side. [No matter what patterns you use, you just need to set them up so that they wrap around the elemental magic instead of trying to disrupt or meld with it since we know that the two forms of energy will simply fight one another…] Gray eyes rise to find yellow looking at him from over a narrow shoulder, the sun warmed depths holding his gaze as a slow smile spreads over the taller man’s features.
[Sorry…] Sashi apologizes in a whisper. [They’re beautiful, Lan, really beautiful…]
Lan: The Bright turns his head back in the slightest, his sun warmed gaze watching the raven haired telepath as he studies the wing shaped fiery appendages that protrude out from slender shoulder blades. Thunder cloud colored eyes rise up to meet his a few moments later and he can’t help the smile that spreads across his lips, one that only widens when the whispered apology rings softly throughout his head. The emotion that surges within him at the Dark’s words is sudden and more than a little unexpected. To hear the other man call what he’d been working so hard to control over these last few weeks beautiful strikes him deeper than he’d ever thought could be possible. It had been so long since a simple set of words given in passing had made him feel so warm inside and… happy.
[Thank you…] he says as the fire begins to fall away, the feathered shapes it had been only moments before disintegrating as the taller man turns around to face the one behind him. As it hits, flame dances along the ground beneath them even as Lan steps forward to wrap long arms around the Dark’s frame and pull him close to his body. Leaning down, the white haired Selestarri’s head slides over Sashi’s shoulder, unruly strands slipping across his vision as his lips touch close to his ear.
[Because of you…] the Bright whispers while the line of embers circling them begins to grow, forming a moving wall of flickering hues. [I’ve been working on them for you... I’d done it only once before I met you… and I hated them. I hated what they represented, I hated that they couldn’t compare to what those Angels had stolen from me. I hated looking at them and so I refused to try it again because it hurt me too much. It hurt to see even the shape of them knowing that it was only an illusion, a shadow of something I’d never have again and a reminder that I had been grounded forever. More than anything, I’d hated that they were nothing more than a lie…] long, scarred fingers uncross from the slender form within his grasp, slipping away and traveling over to narrow shoulders as the taller Selestarri slides himself back until their gazes meet once again, the previous smile renewing on his features soon after. [But you changed all that…and in these past few weeks, I’ve found myself thinking about them a lot… about the skies I’d lost… and it’s renewed that desire in me, Sashi. The desire to take back what they stole from me and use what was forced inside, what I’d only seen as a curse until I met you…] not only a curse, but another constant reminder of what had happened to him and what had been done, of what he’d lost and who he’d lost as well… [But I don’t want to be grounded anymore. Twenty years was enough…] Twenty years has been far too long.
Lan slips one hand away and traces over to long coal colored strands, sweeping them away from the Dark’s line of vision while the fire begins to close in on the pair and as the flames continue to grow closer, the intense heat that it exudes begins to fade away. By the time it envelopes them completely, the fire that dances over both men is as gentle and warm as a mid summer’s breeze, the heat enough to continually melt the falling snow above without truly burning anything at all. New embers spark with each movement the taller man makes, flickering across both tanned and scarred skin alike. [This as well…] the white haired man says quietly as grey eyes rivet on the path of his fingers despite the shifting wall of fire that swirls constant around them. [The desire to control this… the drive to master it… it’s all inside of me because of you…] Lan’s hand comes to rest at the side of the telepath’s cheek and he leans in, tilting his head in the slightest to bring his lips in close as his voice drops to a near whisper. [There’s nothing more that I want right now than to be able to share everything that I am… everything that I was… and everything that I will be with you…] yellow eyes slip partially closed as he brushes full lips against Sashi’s once before closing the gap immediately after to complete a slow and gentle kiss…
Sashi: Thundercloud eyes follow scarred fingers as they mark a path over his skin, the small orange, scarlet, and gold sparks that blossom into existence and then die with each movement reflecting within the deep pools. A shifting wall of fire dances around them, the telepath’s body pressed so closely to the taller Selestarri, protected and safe within the shelter of his arms. It’s more then just the Bright’s physical presence, although Sashi would be hard pressed to accurately explain what it is about the other man that makes him feel this way. There is no denying Lan’s attractiveness, snow and light and beautiful regardless of the ravages inflicted upon him, or the effect it has on the Dark, but there’s more to it then that. If it were simple lust he’d understand it, but this is much more complicated, sort of as if there’s a connection between them, something deeper brought about by the similarities of their past experiences, and that’s what he’s at a loss to explain. He’s never met anyone who could empathize with him and instead has always been uncomfortable around other people, trying to see what they see in the world and failing. Maybe there is something between them, or maybe it’s just his own desperation, but all he knows for sure is that when Lan holds him the pain is dulled, the sharpness inside blunted, and that for a while he feels… special.
The soft touch of the Bright reaches Sashi’s cheek, cradling his face as if he were made of fragile glass, his voice a quiet whisper before velvet lips brush his own and the space between them becomes nonexistent. Time stops for several long moments as they stand beneath the snow-laden trees, surrounded by warmth that the raven-haired telepath has become all too accustomed to in the past few weeks. It’s only after they break just slightly apart that Lan’s words fully register with the Dark and he drops his gaze to the forest beyond. There’s a lightness inside him that flares to life as he stares into the dark spaces between the trees, a feeling that sets him at ease and stirs him up all at the same time. He must be misunderstanding because surely the Bright isn’t really saying that he wants to stay here and share the future. It’s just his mind playing tricks on him, hearing what it wants so badly to hear… and yet… The telepath sighs and tightens his fingers around the fabric of Lan’s kimono. And yet the taller Selestarri doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into… [When I was young, I was told over and over how tainted and evil I was… how I was dangerous because of my uncontrollable magic and how I would only hurt anyone who came near me…] Somehow he manages to haltingly get the words out, trying to push past the difficulties he has with talking about himself. However, Lan has a right to know before he says something he regrets and feels trapped.
[The other kids hated me and I was constantly in fights, withdrawing more and more and putting up walls to shove everything out so I couldn’t feel the pain.] For a long time he hadn’t understood why the others wouldn’t play with him or why the adults whispered to each other when they thought he couldn’t hear. He’d tried to please them and be good just as any small child would try, but soon enough he realized that he was different and different was undesirable. No matter what he did to prove that their opinions were wrong it wouldn’t make a difference, and so he’d stood up to the other kids when they tried to bully him, skipped his lessons and chores, and stopped caring. Over and over he told himself that it was easier to feel nothing then to let them get to him until it was so ingrained that he almost managed to drown out just how damaging it all was. Gray eyes shift to the falling snow, watching the strong-willed flakes that manage to squeeze past the overhead canopy only to melt on the barrier of warmth that surrounds them. [I met my partner when I was moved to the Central Towers and for a little while I thought maybe things would change. All I heard though was how I would eventually dirty and ruin him just like I did with everything I touched. When the people around you constantly say things like that it’s hard not to believe it yourself, and although I tried so hard, I just couldn’t let him in…]
The old hurt that sometimes still accompanies his thoughts of Aki shifts within, but he’s easily able to dissolve it. That part of his life is over and dealt with, the wounds deeply scarred, but healed. Now he understands that he’d been scared of being rejected and hated by the one person who had cared about him, and that fear had reinforced the only wall that the Eclipsed hadn’t broken through. [I loved him during those years that we were partners and after as well, but it didn’t change the fact that I wasn’t able to let him completely in. The restraints I’d placed on myself were too binding and I’d taken everything that had been thrown at me and etched it deep as a reminder of why I deserved to be alone…] Sashi reaches up to rake tattooed fingers through his bangs, hand shaking just slightly from the discomfort of speaking like this. He has to get it out though, has to explain to the Bright why he’s incapable of truly opening up to anyone. Lan deserves that much, but the Dark wonders if what he’s saying even makes any sense or if he’s just fucking everything up horribly…
The telepath’s hand trails lightly down the side of the one that holds him to once again grip the fabric of the kimono and it takes a few long moments for Sashi to begin again. [I was miserable for a long time after that, emotionally stifled but still in pain… When my Warden magic manifested I began to pull my life back together, but those walls remained, too deeply entrenched for me to remember what life is like without them. I’m buried beneath them…] The loneliness had hurt so much and for so long that these last few weeks have almost been surreal. He doesn’t want to give it up, is desperate not to, but the fear and doubt are so strong that he’s not sure he can stand against them. [I don’t know how to let anyone completely inside so that they can see who I really am… but…] The raven-haired Dark’s voice dips to a whisper, his eyes finally rising to meet sun warmed yellow. His whole body has begun to subtly shake and he feels exposed and vulnerable by giving out these details about himself. He wants so much to trust Lan and to finally let down his guard, even just a little… [I want to share things with you… so please…] The words trail and he can’t force the rest out, but the plea still echoes through his mind. Please find a way past them… and please don’t give up on me…
Lan: The grip on the Bright’s kimono tightens as the telepath works pain etched words past the boundaries of his mind, the emotion contained within causing the white haired man’s heart to jump in the slightest. Shimmering pools of grey remain locked with the sun warmed gaze before him for a few long moments even after pleading words trail to a halt, the final part to his sentence never spoken out loud. Fiery tendrils flicker in a slow path around the two stationary Selestarri, the continued silence of the afternoon snowfall seeming much deeper and far more hallow than it had before to Lan’s ears. Marred fingers slide up to wrap around narrow shoulders, the white haired Bright pulling the smaller man towards him and turning him during the movement to bring him flush against his slender form. Long arms slip down to cross over the telepath’s chest, messy snow colored strands falling forward and yellow eyes sliding shut as full lips touch near Sashi’s ear.
[My arms may be damaged… the skin broken and in places not even my own anymore…] the taller man’s grip tightens in the slightest to hug the Dark closer against his body as he continues, his voice dropping down to a soft whisper soon after. [But they’re strong Sashi... Strong enough to break those walls that surround you. Even the toughest walls can be torn down and I promise that I’ll use these arms to do exactly that. I’ll take down every single wall that you’re buried beneath… I promise to free you…] He’ll free the raven haired Dark from the loneliness and fear that plagues him, free him from the stalemate and the pain he suffers from. The longer he’s around the other man, the stronger this desire has become. Sashi has ignited something inside of him, something he can’t ignore. He doesn’t care how long it will take to find a way in, or how difficult the path there will become. He wants to keep all the promises that he’s made, each and every single one. He wants to show Sashi what it’s like to live free. [I won’t give up.] He could never give up…
Tilting his head up, Lan brushes his nose through course ebony strands, yellow eyes reopening as a gentle smile spreads across his features. [I promise I won’t, so don’t you give up either… I’d traveled such a difficult road before I met you. There was so many days that I couldn’t see the light, so many days I couldn’t understand why everything had happened the way that it did but I see it now… I finally understand… That road was leading me to you…] He doesn’t care what Halacie had said before, he doesn’t care that it seems to echo what Sashi had apparently been told his entire life. He knows it was all a misguided lie. The Dark is no monster because a monster, someone who was tainted and evil would not be able to make him feel the way that he does. He’ll find a way to show Sashi what he sees, find a way to show him the feelings he sets off inside. He’ll break those walls that bind him, tear them down brick by brick, piece by piece with his bare hands if he has to so that he can show the Dark just how wrong they all were and how wrong he was to believe it. Ever since he’d come to this man’s home; that cold, deep hole inside of his chest had begun to grow so much smaller, the pit filled with a warmth that goes far beyond the fire that constantly streams inside of him. The pain that had once cut him so deep and hurt him so badly that he never thought there was any hope of repair had slowly begun to drift away.
He feels it inside… something he can’t quite place… a light he’s unsure of… an emotion he’s all but forgotten… one he’d never thought he’d feel again. It’s there, twisting inside of him, screaming to be let free, growing louder with every passing day. He’s not even sure what it is if truth were to be told but to deny its existence would be the same as denying his own. It’s a warmth he can’t describe, one that’s he’s sure is there because of the raven haired Dark that he continues to hold so tightly against himself, this man that he’s finding he never wants to let go…
Sashi: He clings to the warmth and security that surrounds him, grounded by the Bright that holds him so tightly, desperate not to be lost in the storm of emotion that breaks when quiet words sink in. Long plaits of ebony hair slip forward to cover his face as he bows his head and whispers a slightly choked thank you, unable to keep the tears from tracking silently over his cheeks. God, he’s so pathetic to cry just because Lan has promised to do something that no one else has, something that Sashi has been waiting so long for. Maybe the white-haired man is right, maybe they had both traveled these roads just so they could meet… or maybe the Dark is just desperate to believe him. The loneliness is razor sharp, threatening to tear him apart from the inside and he’s tired of fighting it. He just wants someone who can understand, who will accept him and still find a way to love him despite everything he’s been through. He doesn’t know if Lan is that person or if the Bright will still want all these things once he gets a look at the telepath’s true self, buried beneath the walls for a very long time.
The taller Selestarri has never said anything about the Dark’s awkwardness and inexperience with the small touches or gentle moments that they share, he’s never asked for more and instead has let Sashi work things out as they go. He’s never even asked for some kind of explanation as to why there was hesitation or inexperience to begin with. Even with all that, he’s still so confused, so overwhelmed by all of this that he can barely get it straight in his head. All that he’s sure of is the strength of these arms that surround him, the heat of the taller Selestarri, and the comfort he feels when they’re near one another.
Long, scarred fingers slip upward to carefully wipe at the tears, soft lips pressing against coarse strands of black at the same time. The telepath is still shaking a little, his body unwilling to listen even though he demands that it stop. One hand tightens its grip on the sleeve of the kimono worn by the one behind him while the other touches at the marked skin, tracing over the burns and wounds left by those who had tortured the Bright. [I never see them,] Sashi whispers quietly. [And even if I did, I wouldn’t care. To me it means that we’re the same, we just carry the damage differently.] Shifting just a little within the Bright’s embrace, the raven-haired Dark meets sun warmed yellow eyes with his own shimmering gray. [You’re the first one that…] He trails off, the words locking in his throat. The first ever whom he can relate to, and the first new person in so many years that he wants to spend time with, to learn more about, to share his home with. That’s what he wants to say, to tell Lan how much these last few weeks have meant, but he can’t get it out and instead gently squeezes the narrow wrist still held within the grasp of his fingers. Maybe it’s best this way because if Lan asks for an explanation he doesn’t know what to say. How can he put words to feelings that he doesn’t completely understand? How can he explain how his heart begins to race when they’re standing this close or the sense of security he gets just by the other man’s presence? How can he describe what these last two weeks have meant, or how he actually feels hope for the first time in so long? Would the Bright understand if he told him?
Lan is silently regarding Sashi as their eyes remain locked, a soft smile on his full lips. The forest around them is so quiet aside from the fizzle of sparks hitting the snow from the embers that continue to dance around them. Heat that he’s never felt until meeting the one who holds him close, warming him to the core and melting some of the ice that he’s imprisoned within. Before he can stop himself, the Dark brings his hand up to lightly trace the curving line of Lan’s mouth and then over to touch at the white-haired Selestarri’s jaw, the movement natural for once and just…right. [I want to see the light that you see… these roads that you see… if you’re willing to show them to me…]