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Story
+ Angel Hunt ~ Streifen +
Future Effects
Twenty Years brings many changes...
A story collaboration between Angel Hunt and Streifen
Twightlight
[Book 03 : 02]
What happened to this man?
Aki quickly catches himself. It’s not his place to simply come out and ask, that would be incredibly rude and not the best way to make a first impression on someone of whom Sashi is obviously friendly towards. The Eclipsed forces his expression to a more pleasant one without trying to look fake. As their hands meet, he finally manages a sincere smile. “It’s good to meet you, Lan. I was once Sashi’s partner…” He briefly wonders if this man grew up on the Eyrie and understands what he means by ‘partner’ or if he was even Selestarri to begin with. Everything he’s sensing is so muddled.
Lan: Sun warmed eyes slide away from thundercloud grey to meet the blue gaze of the one standing before them and he nods with a small smile. So this is the one Sashi has talked about, the one that the other man once loved… the realization of that fact flares a little hard beneath his chest, causing the fire inside of him to flicker only briefly before he shuts both it and the emotion that accompanies it down. Doing his best to mask a trace of feeling that he can’t quite place and not wanting to be rude, he steps forward to take the hand that’s offered to him. “It’s nice to meet you, Aki… I’ve heard-“ the white haired Bright’s words are cut short just as heavily marked fingers slide against the other man’s and his skin contacts with the only piece of jewelry he wears.
Emotion - pure, passionate, unbridled, and extremely fierce in its intensity slams into him like a ton of bricks to force a short gasp free of his mouth, the taller Selestarri ripping his fingers away from Aki’s grip in order to shove the palm of his hand up to his temples in a futile attempt to get the title wave to stop. The ginger haired man stares dumbfounded for only a moment before he takes a step forward in concern and Lan reels away from him, stumbling a few paces back as the emotion he’d been unknowingly dealt continues to rage through his head. “Don’t-!” he whispers desperately, yellow eyes clamped shut as he fights both the stream and the fire that’s kicking up hard inside. “Please don’t touch me”
Turning around before he looses control, the Bright moves as fast as he can manage towards the part of the house that he and the Dark had come from only minutes before. It hurts more than he can describe –the sheer amount of emotion fed to him through the ring he’d touched was raging mercilessly throughout and if he didn’t get outside soon, he wasn’t going to be able to stop what’s now screaming to be let free so with gritted teeth and his scarred fingers pressed in tight, the white haired man struggles to escape before it’s too late and leaves both the Eclipsed and the Dark alone…
Aki: He simply stares in the direction the other man ran off to. He doesn’t understand… he only touched him. The amount of magic and power flooding out was immense, but Aki can tell that his control over it isn’t very strong. That still doesn’t explain what just happened.
“Sashi…” He says slightly worried before turning around to meet gray eyes with incredible concern. “What the fuck happened to him? What just happened here? Is he going to be ok? And why the hell does he have an Angel’s signature mixed with Selestarri?” Talk about being blunt and to the point, but if the Angels managed what he thinks they have, he really can’t pussyfoot the issue.
Sashi: Lan’s presence flees toward the back of the house, the distant sounds of the door being shoved open echoing throughout. He wants to go after the Bright, to make sure he’s okay and to find out what had just happened that had sent such a strong wave of psychic backlash flooding toward him. This is something he’d never sensed from the white-haired Selestarri, something that obviously causes him pain… Aki’s questions pull the telepath’s attention, and as their eyes meet he lowers the defenses that had been thrown up so quickly. Pushing tattooed fingers through his hair, he’s torn for a moment between staying with the Eclipsed and going after Lan, but he motions for Aki to follow him and leads the way into the dining room.
Dropping onto one of the pillows around a low, beautifully carved table, Sashi pulls the kimono top and haori jacket he wears a little tighter around his slender frame, the cold rushing in at him now that Lan isn’t close by. The Bright is still running, he can sense his movements and the fire magic that’s just as strong as that day he’d found the other man unconscious on the stairs to the shrine. If this is as bad as it was a few days ago, then he’ll be needed to help and to make sure that Lan isn’t alone. Fidgeting slightly, he remains silent as the door that separates the dining room from the kitchen slides open and Yamashita-san enters. The tiny woman sets a tray of tea and snacks on the table and gives them both a formal bow before pouring the steaming liquid. The Dark waits until his housekeeper has finished her duties and left before turning to Aki.
Concern is plain in his cerulean eyes, unsurprising that the Eclipsed would be so visibly worried for a person that he just met. Aki had always been like this, caring so much about others and it’s something he’d always found admirable, even when they were younger. Sliding his hands around the cup before him, warmth seeps into his palms and a quiet sigh escapes before he can pull it back. Where to even start with all this? “About a month ago I sensed the presence of a Bright heading toward the village. No one just stumbles into this place, especially not another Selestarri, and you know that I don’t appreciate unwelcome visitors at my home.” For a while he had killed any of their kind who forced themselves into his presence, sometimes out of self defense and sometimes out of anger for having his sanctuary invaded. It had caused a bit of tension between himself and his former partner since Aki feels so strongly about killing, but it had proved his point to their society: leave him alone and he will stay secluded, intrude and be killed. His Warden powers are what stopped him from bringing immediate death to those who still dared to come out here, the presence of the ghosts of those he’d defeated a very annoying consequence. So he’d simply begun disabling all intruders, breaking a few bones to teach them a lesson and then dumping them somewhere like the middle of a forest, a desert, or a mountain range. Sometimes he notified others of where to find the interfering Selestarri, sometimes he let them take their chances in the wild.
“So as Lan drew closer the other magic within him became noticeable, especially the Angelic bits. I confronted him once he got close enough, but before I could receive any answers, he’d collapsed. I was going to leave him there because I just didn’t want to deal with the Bright or any of their shit even though his magic was so weird, but then I heard your voice in my head nagging me about leaving him in the middle of the road.” Sashi shoots a mock-glowering look at the Eclipsed that brings a smile to Aki’s face. “After that, one thing lead to another and I ended up allowing him to stay here as my guest.” Heat slides welcomingly down his throat as he raises the teacup to full lips. It feels a bit strange to be relating all of this because there are so many of his own actions that he can’t give reasons or explanations for and all he can do is hope that Aki doesn’t ask. “For almost twenty years he was tortured by the Angels after being captured and watching them execute his partner. They used him like a lab rat, injected him with both Angelic DNA and that fire elemental magic that you no doubt can sense. They told him he was the last of the Selestarri and that they had hunted down and killed the rest of us and destroyed the islands.” Sashi shakes his head slowly and takes another sip of tea. Far out on the grounds he can feel the familiar fire flare up as Lan dumps it, and he hopes that the white-haired man is all right. “He managed to finally get away from them and wandered around for a few years before winding up here in the mountains.”
Thundercloud eyes watch as steam curls into the air, his voice dropping low. “I can understand the things he’s going though, the fallout from being tortured both physically and emotionally until you break. I know how hard it is to pull your life back together after that and how painful the lingering fear and nightmares can be.” Sashi wants to help the Bright precisely because he knows it all too well. Lan is alone and has no partner or anyone to support him as he works through what’s been done to him, no one to be there as he tries to put himself back together, and the raven-haired Dark cares too much about him to let that happen. “In that way he’s so strong and even if he isn’t aware of it, just managing to endure and hold out as long as he did is amazing. What the Angels put in him though, the elemental magic, is consuming and he has difficulty controlling it. Emotional distress really seems to set it off, which is what I think just happened, although the psionic part of it is new.” The Dark has never sensed any kind of psionic activity from Lan outside of telepathic communication. All Selestarri have those gifts in one form or another, so he hadn’t given it much thought.
A half empty pack of cigarettes appears in Sashi’s hand and he slips a slender stick free of the box, forcing himself to remain still as his eyes rise to meet Aki’s. “Sorry, I guess you were expecting a quieter visit, huh?”
Aki: The older Selestarri’s heart sinks. That’s precisely what he didn’t want to hear, that Angels had finally gotten a hold of one of his own. “Twenty years!?” Many emotions flood him all at once. Anger for what they’ve done, worry that they now know more about the Selestarri than they ever should and extreme guilt for knowing that his relationship with Jenova is how they discovered the Selestarri in the first place.
Cerulean eyes look down at his hands and at the ring given to him by Jenova all those years ago. His voice comes quiet. “Fuck. That should have been me. I’m the reason they even found out about us, I’m the first one they caught, but I managed to get away. They don’t like when you don’t sit back and take their shit quietly. I know what they do to their own so to take something they don’t even care about in order to use for experiments…” He trails. He can’t even imagine the torture that man has had to endure.
Slender fingers move up to rest at his forehead, partially imbedding in ginger locks. His other hand quickly comes up and slams against the table is a fist, shaking the china. “FUCK! They shouldn’t know about us, this should have never happened. This is my fault and I should have been there in place of him. I knew the risks and no innocent Selestarri should have to bear the burden of my actions.” He looks up, peering through long strands as he lowers his hand. “They told him they destroyed the islands? Sashi, you know that’s what they plan to do, right? If they can ever find us, they will send the Angelic Army and that is a force we cannot withstand, even if the islands united. The Angels live by the rule of ‘if we can’t use it to our own devices, we destroy it’. They will hunt us down and they will kill us all. Those they don’t kill they will use like Lan. Christ, there could be others just like him, only not lucky enough to escape.” Guilt wracks him and he slams his fist down once more. “That should have been me, not him!”
Long moments of silence stretch between them and he realizes how selfish he’s being with Sashi still there and Lan alone outside. “Do you need to go to him? Will he be ok?”
Sashi: Tattooed hands drop to his lap, the cigarette still held between long fingers as he silently watches his former partner’s anger and pain bubble over. The guilt streaming out of the ginger-haired man is almost tangible and he hates to have anything to do with being the cause of it. Aki always takes things like this hard, even if he played no part in the actual deed, and he probably should have known that this was how he’d react.
Gray eyes stare down for a moment at the tea that sloshed from the cups, now small puddles on the varnished table top. Slowly he brings the slender stick to his lips and lights it, taking a deep drag as he nods in response to Aki’s questions. “I would like to go to him,” he replies quietly, “to see that he’s not alone and make sure that he’s okay.” Smoke curls into the air in long streams as the Dark exhales. “Before I do, though, this is not your fault, Aki. How could you have known what they would do? You saved your own life and there is no fault in that. The Angels are ruthless and what they did to Lan is horrific, but you weren’t the one holding the needles or running the experiments.” Sashi reaches out with only a slight amount of hesitation to rest tapered fingers on the Eclipse’s wrist. “It’s not your fault,” he repeats, even though he knows it will do no good.
An ashtray appears in the raven-haired Selestarri’s hand and he knocks the edge of ash off the end of the cigarette. “If there was a war then you know that the Twins would unite our people to fight. Even the Dark would come because scattered as we are, we will protect our home. Plus, I can pull in the Greater Magic to aid us and that’s a weapon I’m sure the Angels would not be expecting…” Thundercloud eyes look down at the smoldering ash, not wanting to see Aki’s reaction to that news. He has told only Zeph that he can see the incredibly complex lattices that make up the magic supporting and protecting the floating islands, but even his brother doesn’t know that he has worked out how to activate the full extent of the defenses. “Anyway,” Sashi quickly continues, “we have resources to discover what the Angels know. Taz and Jun are still friends, so perhaps he can discretely look into what they have on us and if there are any more Selestarri held in captivity. Lan has said that he destroyed the entire floor he was held on, burned it and everyone on it, so there’s a chance that they may not have too much information left.”
He’s trying to be reassuring and comforting, but as the telepath lifts his gaze it meets cerulean eyes flooded with emotion and pain. “It will be okay. Lan escaped two years ago and no one has heard any rumors of the Angelic Army arming for war, right?” Sashi grinds out the remainder of the cigarette and rises to his feet, wanting to get outside to the Bright. “Please don’t blame yourself, Aki, because you couldn’t have known. I should be back soon…” The older Selestarri nods and Sashi quickly fades from sight…
Aki: Cerulean eyes stare back down at the ring on his hand as the Dark exits. This is his fault, he did know what the Angels would do, only he found out a little late in the game after he had already been with Jenova and there was nothing he could to erase Selestarri existence from their radars. It’s because he chose to love Jenova, that is the reason they know, that is the reason they began looking for them. It is only a matter of time before they have enough information to go after the Selestarri. Twenty years is nothing to Angels, it could take a hundred but they would still be planning.
Sashi doesn’t understand. It doesn’t matter how powerful any of them are, the Angels will find a way. The Selestarri are weak because they care. It’s nearly impossible to go against something that sacrifices it’s own as a rule and then comes at you with more. They are stronger, smarter and have evolved their methods over the years. Even the most powerful Selestarri on the islands are still no stronger than an upper class Angel. A Higher would wipe them out almost immediately one on one.
Jenova and Saiyuri went against First House with a huge army of Demons back when Demons were still fairly powerful and pure. They still had to withdraw. If Chaos embodied and the daughter of a God could not do it, there is no way the Selestarri can. Even if Sashi could pull the Greater Magic, it would leave the islands vulnerable as it couldn’t be renewed quickly enough. That and the Eclipsed is pretty sure no Selestarri can handle that amount of magic running through them at once without their body simply being eaten alive. After all of that, the Angels would still send more, and keep sending them.
The Selestarri may understand what it is to fight, but they are not experienced in what war truly is anymore.
Aki wants to call out, he wants to ask Jenova if he knew about Lan this whole time and if so, why he never said anything, but he knows what will happen. He’s too upset right now, the conversation will not go well and the Demon will do what he always does when someone gets like that, cut the link until he has calmed enough to have a rational conversation. The Eclipsed isn’t sure that conversation can ever be rational on his part but he would prefer to do it in person where Jenova can’t simply ignore him. Aki leans back, staring up at the ceiling in his frustration.
“Fuck.”
The stench of burned earth and magic hits him immediately as the dining room disappears and is replaced by a wide swath of charred land wreathed in gray smoke. Hot spots still smolder beneath the destruction, fiery red patches that look like angry wounds against the refuse and ash. Storm tinted eyes sweep over the barren remains, passing the fallen skeletons of trees and piles of what may have been shrubs or grasses before finally locating the one he seeks.
Crouched beside the remains of what was once a large tree is the Bright, white hair streaked with soot and clothing singed and torn. His head is tucked against his knees and even from halfway across the ruined land he can see the shaking that wracks the slender form. The telepath has no idea what had set this off, but it hurts to see Lan so broken and to know that other then being here and making sure he’s not alone, there probably isn’t much he can do. Carefully, Sashi makes his way over to the other Selestarri and kneels beside him, stretching out his hand to gently rest on Lan’s back. God, he hopes he’s not screwing things up again and that this is the type of comfort that the Bright actually wants because he’s never sure and he doesn’t want to cause any more pain. Tangled strands of white shift as the taller man slowly turns his head, a trace of white still clouding sun-warmed eyes.
[I’ll understand if you don’t want me here,] the Dark says quietly, [but I couldn’t let you be alone…]
Lan: the Dark’s scent hits him through the overwhelming smells of the charred earth and the residuals of his own magic that surround him moments before the other man’s presence even registers in his senses. As Sashi draws nearer to him, the white haired Selestarri does everything in his power to stop the shaking his body isn’t willing to stop –hating how he’d both lost control the way that he did and the fact that the telepath has to once again be witness to it. He finds quickly that he can’t bear to look up, can’t pull his face free of his knees in fear of the look that’s waiting for him when he does. He’d nearly been unable to get out of the house in time, the feed of emotion he’d gotten when he’d touched Aki’s hand and the jewelry attached to it was not something he’d expected at all. It had been stronger than any time in the past, and the fact that he still hasn’t fully recovered from the last few days of control loss had only set the fire inside of him raging all over again. He should have thought about it, should have realized what would happen but he’d been more focused on keeping himself neutral when faced with the raven haired Selestarri’s former partner, so focused on trying to identify the feelings that had sprung up within him in the wake of seeing how Sashi had just… lit up when Aki had arrived that the possibilities of things to come didn’t even register until it had been too late. And now… he’d not only let his magic slip free again, he’d pulled away – been rude to the only person Sashi’s said he’s ever loved and he’s fearful of what awaits him in the Dark’s eyes because of it. He’s already lost one person he cares for from events that were beyond his control, how will he be able to lose another for similar reasons this soon?
The white haired Bright isn’t sure that he can because it would be happening too fast, far too fast and so he remains as is even as the other man kneels down besides him, unable to face what he’s sure is there should he look up. But as tattooed fingers slide gently against his back to bring a comfort he’s found that only the other Selestarri can bring, Lan finally manages to pry his face free of the burnt cloth that covers him and meet concerned thunder cloud grey eyes with his own clouded yellow. The fact that there’s no anger and that Sashi hadn’t wanted to leave him alone pulls that all too familiar lightness to his chest and he’s more grateful for it than he could ever say. [I want you here… and I’m… so sorry about what happened…] Lan says after e few moments after the Dark’s words trail, the continued shaking of his body clearly evident in his tone. [I didn’t mean…] the white haired Bright’s eyes slip back closed and he returns his face to his legs. [I should have realized it when I saw that he was wearing a ring but… I wasn’t thinking I guess….] he had been, just not about that which is why he’ll deserve any anger the telepath will have towards him over treating his former partner the way that he did in his desperation to escape in time, once he fully explains the reasons for it.
Slowly pulling shaking arms away from his legs and lifting his head once more, the taller man pulls a heavily scarred hand up to his front, yellow eyes fixed [Before … before they’d taken me and did all this I would touch things and see windows… to people’s lives… The things that they’d done or places they’d been. It wasn’t every single object I came in contact with I’d found, it was just… certain things that people held dear to them or used enough to cause a sort of… imprint I could pick up and I’d learned pretty quickly to be careful on what I touched because I could never control what I saw, or how strong it was when I saw it…] curling his fingers back in, Lan sighs as he returns them to his legs with a slight shaking of his head. [Something changed in me though afterwards… it changed and suddenly it wasn’t seeing, but feeling… I’ve purposefully never touched your laptop because of this, because I know that if I do, something similar to what just happened with Aki would happen with you and I’d given you my word already not to intrude in that manner…] a vow he never has any intention of going back on for as long as he continues to live and he hopes that Sashi will believe him despite the fact that he’d just unintentionally did it to the Dark’s former partner. [I should have thought about that when I saw the band and I’m sorry that I didn’t…] dropping his head into his lap again, Lan’s voice drops into a whisper once more […very sorry…]
Sashi: Gray eyes stare down at soot-streaked white hair after the other Selestarri’s words trail off, the emotion laced in the whisper so plain that even he can’t miss its presence. He’d had no idea that Lan had any form of pychometry since they’d never discussed their psionic abilities and he’s always kept his word about not going into the Bright’s head. It’s not a gift that’s unknown to their race, but those who have it always have control issues. From what he understands, there’s never any warning and it can be set off by the lightest touch. Many of the Selestarri with the ability wear gloves to keep it check and to keep themselves from accidentally seeing anything that’s personal to another. A mutated form of it must be even harder to control and to be struck with emotion instead of only sight must be extremely difficult... All in all it’s not surprising that it would have triggered a flare up of the fire, given how closely the fire is linked to Lan’s emotions.
Nor is Sashi surprised that Aki’s ring could have set everything spiraling. The Eclipsed has been wearing it for twenty years and no doubt it holds significant traces of his feelings for the Demon. If Lan wasn’t expecting it, the shock of being hit with something like that must have been rough and is no doubt what caused the backlash that had come at him. Had he known, he could have given both men some warning and spared the Bright from the misery that wracks his slender body.
Tattooed fingers begin to trace a gentle path across the white-haired man’s back, emboldened by the fact that Lan had said he wished for the telepath to be here. Maybe his touch is wanted too and he’s not fucking things up again. Sashi’s free hand slowly stretches out to cover his guest’s, being careful not to irritate skin that’s been damaged by the fire for the third time in the past several days. [I’m glad that I’m not intruding,] he says quietly, a flush of happiness at hearing his presence is wanted warming deep within. [But you don’t need to apologize. Aki is uninjured and the house is fine, so there’s nothing to be sorry about.] The Dark continues the light, comforting motion of his hand, but the Bright neither moves or looks up from his knees. [Magic control can be difficult, but if I were upset with you for it slipping free, I’d be an incredible hypocrite. I’ve felt it slide from my grasp many times and hurt a lot of people ever since I was small, so I understand that the hold can be tenuous at best.] Even now he still has to monitor his own power some days or run the risk of watching it destroy everything. It’s been an ongoing struggle for years and will probably continue for the rest of his life. With Lan’s magic being so unpredictable, Sashi won’t be surprised if the same is true for him.
[I appreciate you not touching my laptop, but I wish I’d known of your ability so that I could have warned you about shaking Aki’s hand. That band he wears is a gift from the one he holds very close to his heart, so more than perhaps anything he owns, it would be laced with his emotions.] The raven-haired Selestarri doesn’t want to think about the pain that the token once caused him, even if it is years in the past, and so he continues on. [It’s nice to see my former partner since he doesn’t visit all that often, but if you’d like me to ask him to stay in the village while he’s here, then I will.] Lan had already endured Zeph and Jun’s presence, so it’s only fair and he knows that Aki will understand…
Lan: a soft sigh slips free of full lips as the comforting touch the Dark lends him slips in circled pathways along his back, the white haired Selestarri finding relief in both the anger free words that the other man spoke and the gentle ripples tattooed fingers cause with every new pass. Slowly pulling his head away from his knees, sun warmed yellow meet cloud colored gray and he smiles. [Thank you…for the offer but there’s no need. As long as I’m careful not to touch that ring again, I should be fine…] Everything that had just happened aside and despite the mixed feelings he’s found himself carrying towards Sashi’s former partner for reasons he can’t quite pin down, to ask the telepath to cast his best friend out of his house over this would be asking far more than he’s willing to ask.
Untangling his fingers from his own knees without breaking the other man’s grasp, the Bright carefully folds his legs before him, wincing only slightly when newly damaged skin shifts to cause him long familiar traces of pain. Slipping his free hand up to soot tainted snow colored strands, Lan sighs softly once more. [I’m sorry… that I didn’t tell you about it, it’s not that I ever really forget that it’s there, but sometimes the fire is so consuming that it’s not exactly foremost in my mind.] Slipping scarred fingers from his hair, the taller Selestarri shakes his head in the slightest as the barest traces of a smirk crosses his lips. [I guess this will be twice in a matter of days I’ve managed to make unpleasant first impressions on the ones you care about… and I’m not sure how to go about fixing it.] The Dark’s brother has already made it very clear to him that no matter what he did; he wouldn’t be able to fix the damage he’d done. He’d also made it very clear that no matter what was said, or how much he’d said he was sorry it would never change the blonde’s view of him and he can only hope that the same won’t hold true of the only person Sashi’s said he’s ever loved when they return to the house and he apologizes once again for actions he’s seemed unable to keep under control.
Summer tinted eyes travel up to take in the destruction around him before traveling back down to the scorched garments that cover newly burnt and irritated flesh. He’s done so much damage to so many places surrounding the other man’s home since he came. Burnt down trees, and blackened the earth in the middle of winter and he can only imagine what the locals will think once they begin to discover it all. He’s been working for the last year to get his body under control after spending his first year of freedom allowing it to reign free and while he’s made progress in many areas, there’s so many more that he hasn’t at all. Lately it feels as if any shred of mastery he’s held over has been slipping and he doesn’t understand why. This time he managed to get himself out of Sashi’s house and nothing but nature felt the brunt of his loss of control, but what about next time? Can he truly keep his promise to protect the telepath when the risk of hurting him with his own magic seems to be growing each and every new day?
[I’m grateful…] the white haired Bright says quietly as his gaze shifts once again to the flawless tanned skin that covers his own before he twists scarred fingers around, a smile forming on full lips as their hands interlace. […for this.] Pulling his gaze away from the gripped hand in his grasp, Lan looks up to meet thunder cloud eyes with his own soon after. [Thank you]
Sashi: Coarse strands of raven-dark hair shift over the telepath’s face when he drops the line of his sight down to their joined hands. The warmth of the other man’s fingers laced so securely with his is welcome but small compared with the rush of heat and happiness that flood his very core. It may be pathetic to feel like this simply because he hadn’t fucked up and had actually been comforting to Lan, something he’s not really sure he’s achieved in any previous attempts. Reading others is difficult and often impossible and most of the time with these kind of small, intimate touches he’s not sure he’s doing it right. He often tries to do things that he himself might enjoy, but his inexperience always surges to the forefront and he’s left feeling awkward or exposed. This time though, he helped the Bright in the same way that Lan helps him and the smile he’s being given is just indescribable in its beauty.
[It’s the least I could do,] Sashi says after a moment, gray eyes lifting to meet summer-hued depths once again. [You’ve been hurt and I want to help… like you’ve helped me.] For the past month the other Selestarri has done nothing but help, even if he doesn’t know it. Despite the confusion running through his head, he’s happier then he’s been in a long time and he knows the white-haired man is directly responsible. Coming after him and trying to provide whatever comfort he could was something the Dark didn’t think twice about. Only Aki’s presence had prevented him from immediately following like he had a few days ago when Lan dropped unconscious and even then it was only because the Eclipsed had just arrived. His former partner is the only one he’s been willing to do something like that for and one of only two that Sashi has felt the need to comfort. The Bright has slipped into that very exclusive group now, an important addition in ways he can’t really pin down or accurately describe. He just knows that when Lan is sad, hurt, or in pain that he wants to ease it if he can, he knows that he feels secure when held in those long arms, and that he likes waking up to sun-warmed eyes every morning…
Tattooed fingers trace one last pathway over the Bright’s back before slipping down to rest lightly just above the tattered tie holding the ruined kimono closed. [He won’t be angry with you,] the telepath says quietly. It’s not really his place to reveal how guilty the ginger haired Eclipsed feels about his connection with what Lan has endured and so he’ll leave it for Aki to bring up if he chooses. [Aki is the kindest person I know and I think it might actually be impossible for him to hold a grudge unless a serious wrong has been done.] Hell, his former partner hadn’t even killed Kallixstus all those years ago and the Half-Dark had abused him in ways that warranted a very slow and painful death. [He’s not nearly as stubborn and defensive as Zeph is, so I know he’ll understand what happened with your psionics and there won’t be an issue.]
The wind kicks up, scattering the curls of smoke that drift from the charred land around them and sending fine strands of white into eyes the color of a summer day. Without even stopping to think, Sashi lifts his hand from the small of Lan’s back to gently brush them away, fingers lingering along the curve of the taller Selestarri’s jaw for a moment before curling back and dropping into his lap. The renewed smile on full lips makes him feel light and almost… whole. The cracks that run deeply inside are more fused together, filled by the one who sits so near and continues to tightly hold his hand. It’s a whole world of new feelings and still strange because he’s not used to it. He likes it all, even if the meaning behind it is still unclear… [Anyway, it’s not possible to really make a bad impression on Aki and my brother is just extremely protective. You don’t need to fix anything with either of them no matter how much I care about them… because I care for you, too...]
Lan: tattooed fingers slip away from the line of his jaw and drop into the other man’s lap and the white haired Bright nods in the slightest, the Dark’s words once again renewing the smile that graces full lips. Slowly pulling sun colored eyes away, the tall Selestarri’s gaze returns to the destruction he’d caused only minutes before. It’s the small things he’s found, that Sashi does or says… those attempts hesitant attempts to comfort or consol, the soft brushes or the gentle touches that the telepath always seems so unsure of and the barest traces of smiles that occasionally forms on his lips –these things have come to mean so much to Lan, these things he doesn’t want to give up. He hopes that the Dark is right, and that his former partner won’t dislike him the way his brother seems so adamantly to do, that he’ll be at peace with at least one of the people that Sashi holds dear to his heart so that one day, he’ll be able to stand there as well, sharing what they have in some form from this person he’d lost his own heart to such a short time ago.
[Do you remember…] the Bright starts quietly, his gaze sliding back to meet the thunder cloud grey. […when I’d said that I wanted to love you?] The shift from the raven haired man is almost audible, a sudden hitch of his breath and a stillness that washes over the telepath as if he’s afraid to even move. Lan smiles gently at the reaction, dropping his eyes to the hand so tightly wound in his grasp and lingering briefly in order to trace the lines of their contrasting flesh before he shifts to pull tattooed fingers up to his mouth. Yellow eyes slide partially closed, his head tilting in the slightest to brush tanned knuckles along the very edge of his lips. [I want to be the one to catch you.] He whispers as his gaze shifts up through soot stained strands of white, the scarred fingers of his free hand sliding up to brush in layered black locks. [The same way you’ve caught me time and time again…]
Lowering entwined hands only a little, he traces along Sashi’s jaw in a similar fashion that the Dark had done with him. [I want to be the one who comforts you the same way that you’ve been comforting me.] Slipping his fingers away, Lan tightens his grip and pulls the telepath towards him while leaning in until their mouths just barely touch. [I want to be the one always holding you, protecting you the way you’ve held and protected me.] He wants to earn the love the other man has only given one other before just as he’d already earned what the Bright had only graced a single person with as well. [I’ve promised to show you, Sashi… what it means to love and what it means to be loved in return…] he continues while leaning further in to gently brush lips, smiling when storm tinted eyes slip closed and the telepath leans towards him only a little. Completing the briefest traces of a soft kiss, Lan suddenly pulls back and uses the continued grip he’s refused to let go to pull Sashi towards his narrow frame. Wincing a little as the pain from fresh wounds shockwaves throughout with the movement, long arms draped in partially burnt cloth wrap quickly around the Dark’s body as he hugs him very close. [No matter how long it takes, I will keep my promises to you.] Sun colored eyes slide closed and soot covered strands fall forward as he hugs Sashi tighter and his face sinks down against the warmth of his neck. […No matter how long it takes…] he’ll find a way to repay this man for everything that he’s done.
Sashi: Every word that comes from the white-haired Selestarri strikes deep, easing his initial reaction of slight fear and discomfort and filling him with a sensation that he can’t quite name. Its warmth and light, wholeness and strength, amazement and kindness, desire and longing and a thousand other feelings that intermix and stream through him like a whirlwind. He feels full in a way he’s never felt before, all the cracks and fractures within still there, yet glazed over by a shining luminescence that Sashi knows is brought about by Lan’s presence. Since the other man’s arrival it had steadily grown brighter and brighter to the point that he’s surprised that others can’t see it streaming out of him.
The Dark’s heart rate kicks up a few paces at the touch of soft lips and the feel of strong arms around him in an embrace that seems intent on driving all of the doubt and worry from his mind. He can’t sense anything duplicitous in Lan’s words, and although he believes that the Bright is telling the truth, there’s still so much in his own heart that shifts to wall him away and keep him from being hurt. It’s a defense mechanism he’s honed over the years and one he wants desperately to let go of when it comes to the man who holds him so close. He wants to let Lan in, to trust him, but it’s not that easy to undo what’s been built so thick and reinforced time and again. There’s hope though, if the other Selestarri keeps his word as he says he will, and for a moment Sashi almost pleads with him to do so, to fight for him against the walls he can’t stop and to help him be free. It’s too much to ask for and burden another with, despite what Lan has promised, and so the telepath remains silent, quieting the turmoil within and finding contentment in the embrace that folds him in tight against the white-haired man.
At least he seems to have done something right if the Bright has found comfort and protection in the pathetic, awkward attempts that he’s been making. His words always seem to mess everything up, but maybe his actions really are correct and he’s done more good than harm. Even after a month of being together, Sashi still can’t exactly explain what compels him to help and be close to Lan. It’s not a pure physical desire, although he enjoys the times like this when they’re near one another, he just can’t stand to see the one who has brought him so much kindness and gentleness suffer in any way. Still, he wishes he could make sense of it all, because he knows he’s hurting Lan, even if he doesn’t mean to. A quiet sigh spills from the Dark and he leans his cheek against the Bright’s soot-streaked hair, his neck tingling just slightly with each exhale of warm breath against the skin. [I wish to keep my promises to you, too, if you’ll allow me.]
Tattooed fingers curl lightly into ruined silk and storm-tinted eyes slide closed. He knows they aren’t like the ones that Lan has made to him, they aren’t as strong or deep, but he still wants to try. [I know that I’m a hypocrite, telling you that I want the type of relationship that others find so easily and that I’ve never had and then turning around and saying that I need time because I can’t even figure out the shit in my own mind…] The words are spilling out faster then he can catch and are laced with an emotion he can’t even name, but is somewhere between frustration and a need for the other Selestarri to understand. [I’m scared, Lan,] Sashi whispers. [Scared of the things I want so badly, so even though you have every right to be upset with me, please don’t let me go…]
Lan: the white haired Bright shakes his head in the slightest when the desperately whispered words reach him, hugging the telepath closer to his body in a feeble attempt to ease every shred of fear and doubt he hears tainting the other man’s tone. [I won’t… I won’t ever let you go...] He knows that trust is a hard thing gained… that when it comes down to it his words are nothing more than simple words and that his actions will be the ultimate proof of his sincerity, but he still wishes there was some way that he could do more to take away the fear of betrayal the Dark seems to hold so deeply inside. He wishes there was some way that he could do or say something to show that he means every single thing that he’s said and he’ll never intentionally do anything to hurt the one he’s holding so near.
But no matter how much he may wish it, he knows that in the end it will simply be a matter of time – time for Sashi to see that he can trust, time for him to come to know it as well and the only thing he hates is that until then, everything he says will basically be useless up against walls the other man has spent so long in building. He wants the telepath to be able to rely on him just as he wants to be useful to him the way he was once to his own partner. He wants to be able to ease Sashi’s fears with a simple touch or take away the loneliness just by being near, and while these are things he knows will be hard pressed to achieve any time soon considering he’d just walked into the other man’s life only a month before, he’ll continue trying from now until forever anyway because no matter how long it takes, he will find a way to do what he’s said and break down those walls to free the Dark’s heart and all he can do is hope that when the day comes that he does, he’ll be able to earn his own place inside of it as well.
Spending a few moments longer simply holding the other man close to him, Lan slowly begins to ease his grip in the slightest. Pulling back until eyes the color of the shining sun meet storm tinted grey, the softest of smile forms on his mouth soon after. [It’s normal to be scared, Sashi… but believe me when I say that the fear won’t last forever…] sliding scarred fingers up, they trail momentarily into long layered strands of black, the burnt edges of the kimono covering his arms slipping down a little as he moves. Stopping both his words and his movements abruptly when the fresh burns riddling already heavily marked arms come into view, the white haired Bright slides his arm down while the tapered fingers of his free hand tugs at the frayed hem in an attempt to cover something he knows has little possibility of actually being covered.
[We… should return] he says quietly as everything he’d recently done comes quickly streaming back before his gaze shifts over to the fire tainted destruction that surrounds them. He’d almost forgotten… the rudeness of his actions and the time he’s stripping away from both the raven haired Selestarri and that of his best friend by his inability to once again keep his own body under control. He’d been so wrapped up in the comfort this man had brought him and the comfort he tried to give in return that he’d stolen something he hadn’t meant to steal at all. [I didn’t mean to disrupt your partner’s visit the way that I did and I… should probably explain.] Explain, apologize, hope that Sashi is right and that Aki won’t hold a grudge the way the Dark’s brother has done… shifting his gaze back down to the singed tatters that cover him, Lan can’t help the sigh that slips past the sad little small smile painted at the corners of his lips. […I guess I should probably get myself presentable again first…]
Sashi: The abrupt shift in the one before him, the sadness that comes so prominently through his words, snaps the telepath’s attention from the thin thread that had been tying them together and screening out all else. Lan’s touch and his reassurances, the gentleness of his actions and hearing that he would wait, that he wouldn’t get tired and leave had superseded everything for a moment. He knows that the other man most likely doesn’t understand how much of a gift those simple things are, how much they mean, and how difficult they will be to ever repay. Still, he had come out here to help and had ended up being the one who was comforted in the end. He’d let his confusion and fear blind him the toll that all of this is taking on his guest and that’s not fair. [I’m sorry,] he whispers, tattooed fingers uncurling from their tight hold on the Bright’s kimono to carefully cover their blistered counterparts. [I didn’t mean… You’re not disrupting…] This is where he’d wanted to be even while he was explaining things to Aki, beside someone who had become just as important as his former partner.
So much is changing around him after years of being still and it worries him that if he can’t keep up then the white-haired Selestarri who acted as the catalyst to it all will slip away. It’s only been a month since he brought Lan into his home, but it’s long enough to know that he doesn’t want to lose him. Sashi has never met anyone like the Bright, someone he can relate to and understand, someone he actually desires to speak to and share things with, someone who… needs him. He’s always been the one who has needed others and he spent years feeling useless to everyone around him. There have been times that he knows it’s too much for his brother and his best friend, the two strongest people he’s ever met and who never truly needed him for anything. So to have the tables turn and suddenly find a person whom he can comfort and help is strange, but good all at once. Although it would be a lie to say that he doesn’t need Lan just as much, if not more.
Storm tinted eyes slide back to the person still so near to him, the summer gaze riveted to the ruined fabric and the damaged skin beneath. Strands of coal-black hair slide down around his face as he opens the barriers on his magic enough to allow some of the golden energy to spill free. Spreading beneath them in the familiar darkness of a teleport, he concentrates on their shared room in the house before the scorched dirt and smell of burned fauna begins to fade away. Long fingers wrap a little tighter over Lan’s hand and the Dark leans just slightly into him. [Cleaning up sounds like a good place to start…and then, if you wish to speak with Aki, I’m sure that he’ll agree…]