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Story
+ Angel Hunt ~ Streifen +
Future Effects
Twenty Years brings many changes...
A story collaboration between Angel Hunt and Streifen
Twightlight
[06]
Crossing the last of many landings set into the mountainside, they climb the final set of stairs to come out into a small clearing. Opposite where they stand is the shrine, little more than a flat stone altar adorned with the statue of a crow. Offerings sit in small plates around the figure and straw and twigs had been brought for its nest. Paper charms hang heavy with snow around the stone edge, left over from the last matsuri. Overarching all is a large traditional gateway, upon which sits two crows that quickly take to the air as they enter the area. A shimmer in the air beside the shrine quickly manifests into the green-haired Selestarri, her pure white wings the same color as the snow around them. Her orange eyes narrow as she looks at him for the briefest of moments and then settle on Lan. All the anger and arrogance fall immediately from her face as she looks at him, replaced by intense sadness and longing.
Sashi sighs and begins to craft the lattice needed to connect them, the glowing lines hanging in the air all around them. Magic flows through him like water to infuse every symbol and circle with power, flecking his eyes with gold and thickening the air. He’s aware of Lan standing patiently behind him, watching each pattern form and the construct slowly take shape. A few minutes later it’s done and the Dark moves everything into the correct place and links it all together save the very last pattern, which hangs directly between Lan and himself. A full column of intertwined lines encircles them, shooting out at intervals like the spokes of a large wheel. The air is alive with magic, tingling with the same charge as an electrical storm, almost overloaded as it sparks and snaps every second or so. He’d only done this once before, a few years ago, for Michaiah, the Bright Warden who had healed him more than a few times and who had always been so kind to Aki. The curse of the Wardens was that they cannot use their own magic to see their own loved ones who had already gone to Eviternity, and so he had repaid all the kindness with the gift of seeing Caerashk, the Bright’s lover and Aki’s father.
The raven-haired telepath pushes up the sleeves of his haori and the thick sweater beneath to reveal the tattoos that swirl over his tanned skin. Touching lightly at the closest pattern, he turns to face the ghost and recites the necessary ritualistic words. She pays him little notice other than to nod, her gaze still riveted to Lan. The glint of the sun on the blade of his Warden knife is almost blinding as he summons it, the razor sharp metal biting deeply into the heel of his hand, crimson blood welling up and spilling over ebony markings. The Dark reaches quickly for Lan’s wrist, holding him still as he smears the blood down the length of his scarred forearm and onto his palm and fingers, repeating the action with his other arm. Blood drips onto the snow as he completes the task, summoning a bandage to quickly bind the wound. With everything in place, Sashi pauses for a moment, the ache in his chest throbbing with pain, and then activates the rest of the lattice. Golden light swirls as the patterns begin to turn, spiraling around them with increasing speed. He can feel the magic draining out of him rapidly, drawn out into the construct and he feels himself weaken with each passing heartbeat. The glare from the swirling energy is harsh and he squints against it as the spokes of the wheel begin to collapse inward, surging into the Bright with the strength of a raging river. The blood on his arms begins to glow and then separate, forming an image exactly identical to the markings on the telepath’s own skin. The last of the patterns seep into Lan and soon the air is clear except for the one circular set of lines and runes hanging between them.
Sashi’s knees threaten to give out and he tries hard to retain his composure, to keep just how much he’d given to the Bright out of sight. He points across the clearing and slowly, sun warmed eyes lift from the black marks on his arms to follow, a small, quick intake of air the only sound that comes from Lan. [You can see her, then?] Sashi asks and the white-haired man nods. [Then you have an hour until the patterns fade. I…wish I could have given you more.] And he truly does, despite what is most likely about to occur. [I can’t go too far away without breaking the spell, so I’ll wait for you a few landings down.] Gray eyes meet yellow over the final bit of magic, holding them for a long moment before the Dark activates the spell that will allow them to communicate and turning away. His knees are shaking bad and he feels so incredibly weak, but he tries not to let it show until he’s on the stairs and carefully making his descent. The cold hits him hard, piercing through his body like the finest blade, burning his lungs and making it hard to breathe at first. Fingers rapidly going numb manage to draw his gloves over blood stained skin and he wraps his arms around himself in an effort to keep what little heat there is against his body. The stairs spin out ahead of him, the first landing crossed on shaking legs and he begins down another set. He’s not sure if the drain on his magic hurts more or the ache in his chest, but the pain is fierce and raw, hot tears pricking at his eyes. He can’t stop what’s happening in the clearing and it shouldn’t even hurt him like this, not when they barely know one another. Yes, they shared a night in each other’s arms, but he’d done that with many others and never felt like this. None of them had understood, though, or had wanted to help heal the damage inside him, none of them had ever been kind and gentle…
Crossing the second landing, Sashi staggers as weakened legs suddenly give out, reaching desperately for the trees around him. His fingers grasp rough bark, but the branch snaps under his weight and the ground rushes up in a blur of white. Stars flood his vision as his head hits the ground hard, and a sickening snap sends sharp pain lancing through his wrist. Darkness swarms up to claim him and the last things the telepath can sense is the coldness of the snow, the hot, sticky liquid on his hair and face and the metallic smell of fresh blood…
Lan: sun warmed eyes follow the Dark as he descends the stairs, locked onto the raven haired figure even as he begins to slide from view. He wants to tell Sashi how grateful he is, how much this all means to him that he’d given him so much but the words don’t come. Instead he finds himself fighting an urge to run after the other Selestarri and he doesn’t exactly understand why… he only has an hour with her and it wasn’t as if he wouldn’t be returning to Sashi’s home afterwards, but… he’d seen something in those storm cloud colored eyes that bothered him a lot, something he wants desperately to make go away even if he’s not sure how.
[Lan.]
His heart skips a beat when his own name is spoken by a voice he’d longed for so many years to hear again and the Bright’s gaze slowly slides away from the now vacant snow covered steps and back to meet orange eyes, the sad smile that sweeps across the woman’s lips striking him to his very core.
[Halacie…] he whispers, moving forward before he even realizes he’s doing it. The thick blanket of snow melts around him as he steps in close, a path clearing before him without ever being touched. Long scarred fingers reach out, followed soon after by her own, so eager to meet his. Stopping abruptly just before they would touch, the white haired Bright curls marked hands back, returning a sad smile of his own. [You look just as beautiful as I remember Hail…]
[I wish I could say the same for you, Key] the green haired Selestarri says quietly. [But you look like hell…]
The two fall silent as her words trail, simply staring at each other for many long moments before the silence is broken by soft laughter streaming from them both. Faster than he’d like though, the smile drains from his face, the emotion he’s feeling for everything that’s happening quickly taking him over. Shaggy snow colored locks fall over his eyes, tears rising up despite his efforts to keep them down as he dips his head low and whispers. [I’m so sorry Hail… for everything… I’m just so sorry…]
[I’ve never blamed you, Key] the other Bright says sadly. [We were dealt a crappy hand, and neither of us got away unscathed. But we’re here now and I don’t want to waste what little time we have feeling sorry for myself, so please don’t you do it either… ]
Nodding, another soft whisper leaves him as he raises his head [I’ve missed you so much.]
A sudden shift in the woman’s expression at her partner’s words pulls a small scowl to her face. [I can tell by the company you’ve chosen to keep.]
Lan’s brows furrow in the slightest. [What is that supposed to mean?]
[You know exactly what I mean. Why are you with a Dark?]
[Hail… it’s because of him that we can even talk at all, why does it matter if he’s Dark or not?]
[Because it does, Key. Because he’s a Dark. I’ve been watching you and I don’t like what I’m seeing at all… I want you to leave that place and I want you to do it now.]
[I’m not going to leave the only place I’ve managed to feel at least a little secure in after all these years when the only reason you can give me is his faction.] Lan says quietly. [And I made a promise to him that I won’t break-]
[You made a promise to me as well, don’t you remember?] The green haired Bright interrupts abruptly. [And look how far you got there.]
A hard look of hurt flashes through sun warmed eyes and his gaze slides away from the fierce orange orbs that regard him. Lan spends a moment in silence before he speaks again, his emotion tainted words quiet and low [That… was cruel, Hail. Too cruel and I didn’t deserve it…]
[No, it was the truth and if I don’t say it to you, who will?] She retorts, unfazed. [What happened to you while they had you? Where is the Key I know and love? The one who would never be caught dead even looking in the direction of one of those Dark let alone making promises in any way?]
White streaks the taller man’s vision as he twists his head back to meet the unrelenting gaze of his partner with an annoyed look of his own. [Things change Halacie, or hadn’t-]
[No] she interrupts again, folding her arms just beneath her chest. [You’ve changed. More than your outer appearance shows and not in a good way. They messed with you or something, wired you wrong and you aren’t thinking clearly because of it. I know you Key, I saw the way you looked at him just like I saw how he looked at you in return. I hate it, he’s Dark. Dark. They’re evil and vial and disgusting. He has no business looking at you the way he did and you have none doing it in return! You’re still Bright, you’re better. How could you allow them strip away all your pride when they stripped your body and lower yourself like that?!]
[Stop it] Lan says, the tone in his voice unusually even and calm. [Just stop. He’s not evil and I haven’t lowered myself at all. He’s been nothing but kind to me since he pulled me from that road. How can you make those judgments when you don’t know anything about hi-]
[And you can?] She scoffs, unfolding her arms and pointing at him angrily. [Tell me how you managed that one when you’ve only been around him for a few days.]
[I can’t] the white haired Bright says simply, doing his best to keep his temper in check, not wanting to spend the first time in nearly twenty years that he’s been able to even see his partner having a pointless argument over something as ridiculous as their factions. [I can only go by his actions and his actions have spoken louder to me than any words we’d been taught.]
[Key, you don’t even realize who that is, do you?] Halacie flashes him an incredulous look and he can only respond with a slight shaking of his head. [You don’t… I knew you didn’t] she smirks. [Well let me tell you all about your precious Dark. Why do you think he’s out here all alone? Why do you think he’s not on Nova with the rest of his kind?]
[It doesn’t matter]
[It does matter!] She yells. [He’s dangerous Key, hated and shunned not just by his own, by ours as well and for good reason! He’s tainted and you need to get away from him because if you don’t he’ll hurt you, it’s what he does! It’s all he does!]
[Stop it, Hail…] Lan tries.
[No you stop and you listen to me!] The other Bright demands. [He’s-]
[I said stop it!] In that moment, the white haired Selestarri loses all control over his temper, white filming his eyes immediately. He doesn’t want to hear any of this, he doesn’t want her to continue her hate filled words. A hard wave of fire slips past before he can reign in back in, streaming out in all directions to melt every trace of snow in its path. A look of shock passes over his partner’s features as it streams through her form without pause and he realizes only a moment after it happens that he’d done it at all. He desperately rips it back inside just as the delicate paper decorations riddling the shrine and nearby trees begin to smolder around them, stopping it before any true damage can begin to take form. Lan stares at Halacie in silence for only a moment before turning himself away and moving swiftly towards the warmed and dried stone steps in an attempt to get away.
[Kealani!] She cries out, the desperation in her voice stopping him dead in his tracks. He doesn’t turn back as the green haired Bright moves up behind him, can’t bear to see the look in her eyes over what he’d just done. If she’d still been alive, if she was solid and real… he’d have truly hurt her a moment ago and the knowledge of that was like a dagger in his heart, piercing him so completely that it threatens to shatter him in two. [I’m sorry.] She apologizes so very quietly behind him. [I’m sorry so please don’t leave me again so soon] Lan’s head drops in the slightest, his eyes sliding shut against the fresh wave of emotion that rises up in faded yellow orbs. He can’t talk, once again unable to find his words to speak. He wants to tell her she shouldn’t apologize, especially after what he’d just done, he wants to say so many things but he can’t find a way to push them past his mind so instead he remains still, simply fighting the pain all over again as she continues speaking to the back of his head.
[I’ve been with you this entire time… watching helplessly while they hurt you over and over like they did. I hated it Key, because I couldn’t do anything at all, because I couldn’t help you. I hated that I died, hated that I couldn’t protect you like I’d sworn I’d do… I love you so much Key, more than anyone ever could and I’m scared…scared that you’ll get hurt again after you just managed to get away. I want you to be safe, it’s all I ever wanted and I’m not telling you this to hurt you, I’m telling you because it’s important. You need to listen to me. You aren’t safe with him Key, you won’t ever be safe because of who he is and that’s why you need to leave. You have to leave Key, please listen to me and just leave…] her voice drops to a quiet desperate whisper. […Please]
He knows why she saying all this, knows why she feels the way she does because once upon a time he’d probably have felt the same… but things have changed and she’s wrong about it all. So very wrong. Sashi has been kind, he’s warmed him and comforted him, he had taken away the pain, gave him a reason to live again… no matter how fleeting, no matter how brief, it was there… it was there. He feels like his heart is tearing because of how pathetic he’s turned out to be… how useless he is to her in the end. Scarred and marked fingers curl into the smallest of fists as sun warmed eyes slide open to stare ahead, his whispered words barely making it past his mind. [I’m sorry Hail… please believe me when I say that I still love you with all of my heart… but I can’t give you what you ask… I can’t leave him alone.]
Halacie frowns hard before dropping her head and pulling her fingers back, the look of hurt and anger clear on her delicate features as she fades from view. Lan stands in place as he feels all traces of her presence slip away, the ache in his chest flaring stronger and harder than it ever had before. It takes him a few minutes to collect himself, sliding his hands up to cover his face before he finally slips them back into unruly white strands and pushes his hair momentarily away as his gaze slides up to the calm, clear sky above. Sun warmed eyes remain fixed for another moment before his head drops and he continues towards the steps, more than ready now to return to Sashi’s home. He makes it down the first set of steps, stopping abruptly and all thoughts purged from his head when he clears the landing to find the unconscious Dark’s body sunken deep within the snow riddled ground below.
“Fuck!” he hisses, jumping immediately down the stone walk way in one bound, the thick blanket of white that surrounds the raven haired Dark melting immediately as worn shoes hit the ground. The Bright carefully lifts Sashi up, frowning when his hand twists in the most unnatural of ways. Long scarred fingers slide up to gently brush blood matted strands away from closed eyes a moment later. “I couldn’t tell…” he says apologetically to the other Selestarri’s unconscious form. “Your blood was already so strong in the air that I couldn’t tell…” Pulling his hand away, Lan carefully slides Sashi up by his unbroken wrist, twisting his body around to hoist him onto his back. Swinging the Dark’s good arm over his shoulder, the white haired man rises with his charge soon after, securing him solidly against his back as he slips his arms beneath hakama covered legs. Turning back towards the temple stairs, the Bright begins a slow decent down…
Lan’s hand trails carefully over the brace Yamashita-san had placed on Sashi’s broken wrist as he sits besides the sleeping and newly cleaned form below him. Sun tinted eyes pull away when the small housekeeper finds her way back in to set a small ceramic bowl filled with clean water on the tatami mats besides them before lifting his blood stained hoari and kimono top free from the place they’d been discarded soon after their return. Worried almond shaped eyes meet his for the briefest of moments before she drops them low, speaking quietly to the silent man by the master of the house’s side.
“I will bring fresh medicine for Hisashi-sama from the village tomorrow, Lan-sama. It is important he does not strain until his wrist has set.”
“Thank you…” The Bright smiles softly. “I’ll make sure he takes care…”
With a deep bow, the woman straightens and turns to exit the room, closing the door behind her. Lan’s attention slides quickly back towards the Dark, his fingers tracing along raven strands before slipping away to pull the heavy comforter up over Sashi’s near naked form. Twisting his body around, the white haired man slides from the bed and sinks down onto the floor, leaning back against the mattress behind him with a quiet sigh. Pulling long legs up, marked arms come to rest across his knees and he spends a moment staring at the dried blood still riddling his flesh before his head sinks down in between his legs, simply waiting for the other man to find his way back into consciousness…
Sashi: He’s falling. Surrounded by pitch blackness that clings to him like a heavy, wet blanket and threatening to drown him as he endlessly plummets. Desperate, the telepath claws at the darkness, seeking a way to slow his descent, but there is nothing to stop the downward plunge. Pain, bright and sharp lances through his wrist and from far away he hears himself whimper, the sound seeming to echo through the black void. Sashi tries to manifest his wings, anything to slow the fall, but the magic won’t release the seal, the energy that’s always so prominent in his body completely dissipated. Terrified, he thrashes again, ignoring the agony that’s now not only in his wrist, but in his head as well. He has to stop, has to find something to hold onto before he crashes, before the ground rises up and smashes every bone in his body...
With a suddenness that steals the breath from his lungs, heat wraps over him, followed by a gentle touch that presses in close and holds him carefully. His wild plunge through the darkness slows and then stops, the clinging feeling of the void easing away in the wake of the heat that cocoons him and keeps him safe. Still frantic and scared that he could begin to plummet again at any moment, the Dark clings to the force that holds him, the sound of his breathing loud in his ears, hard pants that make his lungs ache and throat burn. Whatever’s holding him is secure though, and he gradually calms enough to notice that the blackness is fading and the outside world is slowly creeping back into his senses. The familiar quiet of his home, the softness of his bed beneath him, and warmth that seeps all the way through to his core… Thundercloud eyes tinted with gold open to find that he’s half sitting up, propped against the body that belongs to the long, scar-riddled, blood streaked arms that cross his chest and pin him to the mattress. There’s a brace on his right wrist and he recognizes Yamashita-san’s work, the bandages and wooden splints neatly layered and tied. The dull, throbbing ache in his head and the broken bones remains constant and he still feels weak from the depletion of his magic.
The one behind him shifts just a bit and Sashi tilts his face upwards in the slightest, catching sight of shaggy snow colored locks and a concerned yellow gaze before his eyes slip closed once more. [Lan…] the Dark manages to get out before hellish pain lances through his head and sends flashes of white streaking through his vision. After a moment he tries again, his voice a barely audible whisper as he attempts not to upset his head any further. “I thought you’d be gone by now… that you’d want nothing more to do with me…” Pulling his good arm away from the other man’s grasp, Sashi brushes ebony strands from his face, the hair damp with the sweat that soaks his body. He’s surprised to find the Bright here, sitting on his bed, cradling him as if he were a fragile piece of glass that could shatter at any moment. It’s hard not to sink into him, to not give himself over the Lan’s gentle care, but he knows this is just a fleeting thing and to allow any of that will only make it that much harder when he does go. “She told you, right? Told you why I’m alone… Why the Bright hate and fear me, call me evil and a monster… The Dark stay away too, half afraid and half envious…”
Gray eyes open once again to stare at the patches of sunlight that shine through the thickened rice-paper windows. “But you were able to see her, so it doesn’t matter,” he lies, trying to sound much more steady then he feels. “And I understand if you hate me now, too…” It hurts so much to say aloud although he doesn’t know exactly why, only that his chest aches and it feels like he’s being torn apart. He usually doesn’t give a shit if he’s liked or disliked, but more than anything he wants Lan not to hate him for the stories and rumors that are so widely circulated. He knows though, that there’s so little chance that the Bright will feel anything besides hate and the thought is like a cold blade driven into his chest. It’s foolish, this kind of feeling for someone he knows so little about, whom he met such a short while ago, but it’s there, and it’s real and it hurts with a surprising strength. Part of him wants to plead with Lan to stay, to keep him from being alone again, but his pride is there too and it keeps him back. “You made promises to someone you didn’t know, so I won’t hold you to them…” The raven-haired telepath tilts his head back to catch the gaze of eyes the color of the sun, the faintest glimmer of tears pricking at his eyes despite his best attempts to keep them away. “…but I’m glad that I got to see you one last time…”
Lan: Yellow eyes slide open when a desperate whimper slips free of the unconscious telepath’s lips and he raises his head, turning just as tattooed arms flail out and claw at the empty air that surrounds him. The white haired Bright moves quickly, slipping easily around the struggling Dark to gather him up and pull him in close, carefully constraining him. He doesn’t want Sashi to hurt himself further so he wraps long marked arms across his chest to keep him down as he rides through whatever dream that plagues him. He wishes he was able to free him from what he knows to be nightmares he’s suffered through himself for many years, but he can’t… he can’t pull him free the way the telepath had done with him, so instead he just continues to hold him close to his body until he can manage to free himself.
Words filled with pain and self defeat spill from the one in his arms when he finally rises to the surface, the amount of emotion tainting every syllable striking him to his core. Halacie had been so set on convincing him of the very things Sashi was now speaking of, of how evil and dangerous he was and why the white haired Selestarri needed to get away. He can only imagine what was being said by the rest of their kind as well, what tales were being told and what rumors were being spread to have even her so worried for his safety. Whatever it is, whatever they’ve said must be truly horrible because even the Dark sounds like he might believe it himself. But how could any of them really know? How could she? He doubts they’ve ever seen the Sashi he’s holding now… or the one he’d embraced the night before… the one who welcomed him into his home and gave him hope again for the first time in more years than he can remember. The one who’d been so kind. If they’d seen this Sashi, they’d know what he knows. Feel in their hearts what he feels. How could Sashi be evil? How could he be a monster? This man with a loneliness in his eyes that reflects his own… this man who’s asked for no price or taken no toll for everything he’s done…
How would any of them know?
“Hail… said a lot of things” Lan says quietly, pulling one arm slowly away and sliding scarred fingers up to brush damp ebony locks free of watering grey colored eyes. “So many things that I can hardly remember…” the Bright lies sadly. His partner hadn’t been kind and he feels so hollow inside for the things that she’d said, for the way that she left. He’d wanted to say so much more to her, but he knows that it wouldn’t have done any good in the end. He doesn’t blame her… because he knows that if he hadn’t been taken, if those Angels hadn’t have done what they did to him, at one point in time he probably would have felt the same. He wishes he could have explained that to her though, that he’s seen a whole new side to the world and things aren’t as simple as they once were. They’d opened his eyes, given him brand new sun tinted sight… and because of that, he’ll never be able to see anything the same again. As much as he hates what had been done, and despite how much pain he feels from being torn and shattered both inside and out, as he sits here holding the Dark and those pained thundercloud tinted eyes meet his own… he can truly say that he’s grateful.
“How could I hate you?” he whispers a moment later, sliding his fingers down along the strong curve of the telepath’s jaw, “How could I break my promise and leave you all alone?” a soft smile forms on full lips as he slips his hand down to meet the other and cross over Sashi’s chest. “I meant what I said… the promises I made. I want to know it all, to know you. Your thoughts, your fears, your joys and your sorrows. I want to warm and comfort you, to continue sharing your bed. I want to help you heal, to fix those broken pieces you have inside… and I want you to heal me in return. If I left now… how would I see any of this through? How would I show you what it means to love?” and have the chance, however small, to be loved again one day in return…
Sashi: For a moment it seems as though he’s still in the dream, as if at any time, he’ll wake up to an empty bed, an empty house, a loneliness just as deep as it’s always been. He can’t truly be hearing Lan say that he wants to stay here and keep all his promises, can he? That he really wants to know him and warm him and help him heal? That he doesn’t hate him like the rest of their race? He’s here, holding him so gently when he could have washed his hands of everything and been long gone… Sashi had been so sure that the Bright would leave; that his partner would convince him that remaining was a bad idea and that Lan would hate him like everyone else once he knew just whom it was he’d made all those promises to. He didn’t think he’d ever see him again, but now… Now he’s reconfirming that he’ll hold to everything he’d promised, even the thing that the telepath wants the most, the thing that causes the wounds he’s still trying to deal with: to know what it is to love and be loved.
He barely knows Lan, but the gentleness and kindness he’s been given since the other Selestarri arrived have been so rare in his life and never has he met anyone who can understand the things he’s been through. They’ve both been hurt and damaged and even though everything has happened so quickly, there is a distinct part of him that wants the Bright to be someone special, to move through the thick walls that surround him and accept him for who he really is. Maybe he’s just desperate and pathetic and maybe it’ll never work out since Lan seems to be very much in love with his partner, but… just maybe…
Hope flickers faintly within the raven-haired Dark, but he quickly snuffs it out, all too familiar with how much it hurts when hopes are crushed. Everything that’s happening seems a bit… impossible, and the Dark can’t wrap his head around it, but he can’t deny that there’s a new type of warmth flooding through his body, erasing the ache in his chest, one he doesn’t recognize, but that he’s more than willing to accept.
Slowly, Sashi shifts to the side a bit so that he can get a good look at the sun-tinted eyes of the other Selestarri, his thundercloud gaze staring into the depths. There’s no trace of malice, of duplicity, or of a joke, just clear yellow pools that look back at him with kindness. The idea that any of this can really be happening, that everything he’s wanted for a long time now, even during those years when he didn’t recognize what he truly wished for, can actually be found within the man who’s currently wrapped around him, stuns the Dark and he simply remains still for several long moments. Emotion courses through him, surging wildly, the fear he’d had of being alone again and the relief of Lan’s words colliding so hard that it leaves him feeling a bit overwhelmed. Hesitating slightly, he raises his hand to gently touch the pale skin of the Bright’s cheek, fingers trailing to Lan’s jaw before he leans up to kiss him. Slow, winding fire moves beneath the surface when their lips meet, sweet and hot all at once, unhurried as several heartbeats pass while they remain locked together. Reluctantly Sashi pulls away, his body sinking back against Lan’s as the draining weakness moves through him.
“Some of what they say is true, you know,” he says quietly, gray eyes slipping closed as his face tilts against the Bright’s chest. “I have a lot of magic within me, enough to level a city block in minutes, and I haven’t always been able to control it.” More than once it had spun out of his grip as a Bright and a Streaked and hurt others. Once he’d become a Dark it was all so powerful that he’d done everything he could to keep it locked within, even to the point of almost destroying himself. Sashi sighs, listening for a minute to the sound of the white-haired Selestarri’s heart through the thin t-shirt, strong and soothing before he continues. “It terrifies them, but they’ve masked it with hate from when I was very young and it’s only gotten worse as I’ve grown older. I don’t really care so much anymore about what either of our factions think, but I…” he trails off, trying hard to press the words through the walls he’s barricaded behind, the difficulty he’s always had with his emotions making it hard to get the words right. “I didn’t want you to hate me, too…”
Marked arms squeeze him carefully, hugging him close, and the Dark feels even more protected and safe, the strength of the one behind him more comforting than he could ever have imagined. “I want all those things that you said… and I want to try and give it all back to you…” He’s not sure if he can really help the Bright at all, and he may break under the strain, but in exchange for what Lan has given him already and everything that he’s promised, he’ll do what he can. Storm colored eyes open once again, staring down at the blankets twisted around his body. “Are you sure that this is what you want, though? That I’m the one you want?” He whispers. “If the Bright discover that you’re alive you’ll be banished just for being in my presence. You’ll lose your home forever… and I don’t want you to regret it…” to regret him and the choice to stay here…
Lan: the white haired Bright pulls the other man in closer to him as whispered words find their way free from the telepath’s lips, only speaking when he’s finally stopped. “The day that I broke free…” he starts slow, “I unleashed this fire they’d gotten inside of me on everyone I could touch…” yellow eyes slide up and over to stare at the light that filters in through heavy paper windows beyond, the pain of the memories filtering in despite the flat tone in the words he speaks. “I don’t know how many I killed that day… I really didn’t care either. I wanted them all gone, and as I’d said the day before, I wanted them to suffer as well. I was barely conscious, the drugs they’d put in my system and the barriers they had in place made even walking a difficult task, but I was aware enough to know what I was doing… and I made sure that they felt each and every moment of the pain I’d been feeling both inside and out for all those long years while I was under…” he executed so many that day, burned them all alive one by one. He’d grown to hate them over the years, hate the humans he’d previously spent his life protecting and so he’d stripped them of their lives as repayment for both his and Halacie’s in the most excruciating of ways. “After I stumbled my way beyond that lab, many more died before I managed to find a place to hide… a place I could pull myself back together in.”
Lan stops, still staring out as he continues to hold Sashi so tight and when his words finally come again, his voice is pitched entirely too low. “Innocent people died because they got too close to me, innocent people suffered at my hands simply because they were there. I knew… what I was doing when I killed them too. I could barely control the new magic and this unending fire inside, but I found myself not wanting to either. I wanted everyone to suffer -not just the ones who took me, the ones I’d already killed… but everyone. All those Angels and every innocent human alike, they were all the same as far as I was concerned and I swore I’d kill them all for what had been done… I swore I would see every last person on this planet dead…” trailing, he falls silent for a few moments longer before a sigh passes from in between full lips and his sun colored gaze slides back down to meet the storm cloud grey below him. “I killed many before I found it within myself to fight my way back and gather my sanity again. And while I did gain what I could of it back and soon put an end to that vow of death I’d made a short time before, it doesn’t change the damage that I’d already done, or restore any of those innocent lives that I had taken…”
“She said that she had been watching me, so it means she knew… The things I’ve done and the way I felt when I did them… she knew and she still found it in her to look at me the same as before… but they don’t. And if they discover that I’m still alive, they’ll discover what I’ve done as well and I’m sure I’d be banished for it anyway.” Carefully slipping a hand away from warmed tan skin, he slides his fingers up to trail lightly in raven locks before tracing along the line of Sashi’s jaw, his voice gentle and low. “So no matter what I do, the Eyrie will be lost to me in the end. It won’t be the first time though…” he frowns in the slightest as he slips his hand away and returns it with the other to cross over the other Selestarri’s chest. Considering he’d allowed them to convince him that both the Eyrie and Nova had been destroyed along with every last one of their kind, losing it a second time wouldn’t be very new. “And I think I would rather they took it from me again for the decisions I’ve made when I’ve been thinking with the right state of mind than for the ones I made when I was not…” that and even if he could return, there is little left for him there any more and somehow he knows that it would feel far too empty…
“So I am very sure that this is what I want, that you are what I want and I will not regret…I couldn’t.” Lan smiles. “And while it’s true that you do have more magic in you than I’ve ever felt before, I don’t feel frightened because of it.” How could he when Sashi hasn’t given him a reason to feel that way? “I understand what it’s like to have magic inside that’s hard to control…” a small bitter smirk crosses the Bright’s lips. “And what it’s like to have it slip free despite your best efforts to keep it contained within… it may not be on the same level as yours, but I understand it nonetheless.”
Carefully shifting the raven-haired telepath up, Lan reaches down and strips the heavy comforter away, untangling it from Sashi’s slender frame in order to lift him free of the bed soon after. Rising up, bare feet step in close and blood streaked scarred arms find their ways quickly around the other Selestarri in order to steady his wavering frame. “Your housekeeper instructed that you weren’t to strain your wrist until it was set so I’ll be taking care of you to ensure that won’t happen… and because we’re both in need of a bath, I think it might be best if we take one together so that I can begin the care I assured her I would do.” His fingers slide free of the Dark’s waist in order to find their way up towards long bangs as a soft smile forms on full lips. “Please bear with it for a little while…”
Sashi: Wrapped tightly in the arms of the Bright, he listens as the events of Lan’s escape from captivity spill forth in toneless words. The situation resonates deep within the raven-haired Selestarri, similar to the killings he’d done in the past and that had lead to his and Aki’s exile. Whatever the emotions at the time, it was a thing that never went away, the blood, the screaming and pleading, the magic so thick in the air… sometimes he still has nightmares about it, time failing to completely erase the taint of it from his memory. It must be a strain on Lan to carry the burden of his actions since he’s a Bright and they are sworn to protect humans above all else. He’s right in the fact that the Assembly or the Council of Eleven wouldn’t see how justifiable the killings were, the would only see that he’d murdered innocents and he’d be stripped of his magic and banished from the Eyrie without a second thought.
The hurt of it all practically flows from Lan, even if his tone is flat, and yet there is a distinct part of Sashi that’s happy things occurred the way that they did and that the Bright feels like his home is already closed to him. It means he really will stay, without regrets, and perhaps all the things that were promised would come to fruition. It’s so selfish to think that way, but at the moment he can’t help it. Long arms tighten around him as he’s carefully lifted from the bed, his knees threatening to give out and send him crashing to the floor before Lan steadies him. He leans into the other man’s touch, hating this feeling of such weakness and the need to rely on someone else. The white-haired Selestarri tells him about Yamashita-san’s instructions, and for a second Sashi is tempted to say that he’ll be fine and that a lot worse has happened to him than a simple broken wrist. The deep sadness in the Bright stops him, though, because even if his bones are broken and his head is throbbing, it has been an even tougher morning for Lan. Seeing his partner must have been bittersweet and he can probably use a distraction. If all of this will help, then the Dark will allow it. Gentle fingers brush at his bangs, sliding them from gray eyes, the warmth brought by the touch spiraling down deep and he nods slowly. Besides, it’s not like he’s opposed to sharing a bath with Lan… not at all, actually…
With careful steps they make their way to the bathroom, the tile cool beneath their feet even though the sun shines in from the skylights above. Sitting on the wooden shower stool, Sashi watches as the Bright twists the knobs on the tub and then begins to sort through the vials and glass jars perched on a shelf overhead, picking through the assorted infused salts and natural plant extracts that are native to the floating islands. Steam quickly begins to fill the air and the Dark eases back against the wall, reaching up to gingerly run his fingers over the bandage wrapped around his head. He has no idea how hard he fell, but it wouldn’t be surprising if he also had a concussion with the way his head hurts. The sigh that escapes his lips is barely audible over the running water and he returns to watching his slender house guest, thoughts slipping back to what Lan had said about his escape. “Thirty years ago I was banished from the Eyrie for nearly the same reasons that you described.” Thinking about the past like this is making his head hurt worse, but he continues anyway. “I murdered innocents while my partner and I were escaping from a group of men who had tortured us until I finally snapped. Even then I was strong and somehow I tapped into an incredible force I didn’t even know I had and killed everyone in that village, razed it to ashes and soaked the ground in their blood.” The screams had meant nothing, their begging faces had meant nothing, the only thing that mattered was making them all pay for what had been done to him and Aki. He had been the judge, jury, and executioner and none had been granted absolution. “I also knew what I was doing and acted on my own free will, so I think you’re right, if you were to return they would make you a Streaked and exile you.” It wouldn’t matter what had been done to him or how he’d suffered; only that he’d broken the cardinal rule of protecting humans at all costs. The telepath takes a deep breath, the smells emanating from the tub so close to that of the White Vale near the Sylvan Tower that if he closes his eyes, he can see the silvery leaves and hear the sounds of the forest. Lan seems caught by the scents as well, his gaze on the surface of the water. “So even though you’ve lost that home, maybe you can find a substitute for it here…”
Pulling his eyes away from the tub area, he looks down at the floor, hoping he doesn’t sound too desperate. He still isn’t used to all of this, to having someone around who could understand things or whom he actually liked enough to want to say any of these things to. It’s just…hard to know how to do it without seeming so pathetic. It takes Sashi a few moments to realize that the Bright is standing before him, his hand held out to help the telepath to his feet. Their faces are close as marked fingers tug the ties of the hakama free and send it cascading to the floor, a small, quiet gasp coming from the Dark as his underwear follows quickly after and the heat of Lan’s hands settles on his hips. Soft lips brush against his, almost a kiss but not quite, and again he gets that sense of deep hurt from the white-haired man. Thundercloud tinted eyes rise to meet sun warmed yellow, holding for a moment until he turns his head to rub his cheek against the taller Bright’s before dropping his head to his shoulder and leaning into him. Scarred arms immediately slip around to pull him in close, long moments passing as they remain locked together. The steam continues to build and the water splashes noisily into the large tub, Sashi’s voice only barely audible above it. “…I know you could have left, but… I’m glad you didn’t…”
Lan: the Bright ‘s gaze remains fixed on the running water below him as Sashi speaks of the events that brought him an exile thirty years before. The underlying pain that resonates in each word strikes him down to his very core, the similarities practically mirroring his own. For all the good that he knows humans are capable of, they are equally capable of much destruction and cause far too much loss. He doesn’t blame Sashi at all for striking back the way that he did, because he himself had reacted the same when he’d found his own freedom. Those innocents’ lives had meant nothing to him then; the only retribution he’d accepted for his race’s, his partner’s and his own life had been their blood. He wonders how the telepath had coped with the impact of what he had done afterwards though, if his partner had been there for him through it and where that partner is now… he’s seen the scar, the intricate patterns of the oath breaking magic that interrupts the beautifully scrolled patterns on the Dark’s palm distinct like nothing else is. He’s wanted to ask… since the day that he’d come, but despite what they’ve recently shared – Sashi’s business is still his own and he has no place to ask for anything more than he’s offered in the end. So instead he simply stands and turns, moving in close and tugging the Dark’s hakama and underwear free.
Yellow eyes slip closed as his arms encircle the other man to pull him even closer against him, his head tilting to rest near long, layered strands of black. The warmth of Sashi’s body against his, the arms wrapped so tight around his neck, the soft words that slide from his lips all bringing a comfort he desperately needs. The day’s events have been taxing; his reunion hadn’t gone the way he’d wished. Words of hatred and anger tinted orange eyes tainted what should have brought solace to his heart to the point that he’d been left feeling that the empty space inside of him was gouged deeper than it ever had been before. Yet here with his arms wrapped around this man, he’s finding that the pain no longer seems quite as acute.
“I wanted to stay…” he says quietly a moment after the raven haired Selestarri’s words trail. No matter what Halacie had tried to tell him, no matter how much she insisted that he was in danger, he means it when he says that he wanted to stay. The time he’s spent in this man’s presence may have been short, the few days they’ve been together so quick to pass them by, just as the array of emotions he’s been feeling had become jumbled and hard for him to decipher… but he knows at least this much, he knows that he wouldn’t have been able to leave. “And I’m glad you want me here as well...” The Eyrie is gone as far as he’s concerned… and he’ll never bother to look back. For the first time since he had been taken, he’s found a new place that he wants to call home.
His sun warmed gaze meet eyes the color of thunder clouds as he slips back in the slightest, the tattooed fingers of Sashi’s good hand finding their way beneath the hem of the thin shirt covering his slender frame and slowly tugging the garment free. The Bright smiles as worn jeans fall soon after, sliding his body back to rest at the ledge of the bath behind and pulling Sashi along with him. Pulling one hand away, he twists around and stretches out in order to turn the water controls off, freezing the moment slender fingers touch softly at his back. Lan remains still with his arm outstretched, eyes fixed on the wavering liquid beneath him as the other man begins to explore each and every ridge of the surgically precise marks that once held his wings. “…I don’t know the exact day they took them…” his whispered words still the path of the moving fingers at damaged flesh. “I only remember feeling every moment of it when they did…” He had watched helplessly as they stripped him of the very last thing that he was, unable to even scream for the pain when they’d decided to tether him to the Earth permanently right there and then. It was painful to recall, the pain burning through him as it had the very day it happened, but he continues to speak anyway, determined to push it through “They’d been taking them in pieces beforehand… cutting feathers away one by one. It hadn’t been enough for them I guess… and one day they simply removed them completely.” The white haired Bright sighs before straightening and turning back to offer Sashi a sad sort of smile while holding his hand out for him to take once again. “But like with everything else they did to me, I came to terms with it as best I could long ago...”
Pivoting just as the telepath’s fingers slide against his own, Lan sinks into the large tub and slowly eases the other man along with him soon after. Sliding Sashi back in between his legs, scarred hands slip free of the hot water and up to carefully remove the bandage wrapped so tightly around his head. The Dark rests his broken wrist across the Bright’s upturned knee as wet fingers push him forward only in the slightest to begin washing each and every line and curve of the toned body before him. Dropping his head, black plaits spill over his shoulders and grey eyes slip closed while the one behind him begins to wash the entire day away. Lan’s gaze follows his own movements, watching quietly as pale marked fingers slide over caramel colored skin before he leans forward to touch his mouth at the base of the other man’s neck. He takes a deep breath in, finding a welcome comfort in Sashi’s now familiar scent while his hands slip beneath the Dark’s arms to wrap around the slender frame at his front and pull him back against his body once more. The raven haired Selestarri’s head tilts back and up, their lips brushing against one anther as grey eyes reopen to meet yellow, the Bright’s whispered words spoken directly into the telepath’s mouth. “Thank you for everything you’ve given me this day…”
Sashi: The Bright sits at the edge of the tub, still smiling as he twists around to shut the faucet off. Long, impossibly straight scars come into view for the first time, running over each of his shoulder blades in a ridge of slightly tinted skin. The stark contrast of black and caramel against milky white draws the telepath’s attention for a moment before his hand lightly touches the markings. Lan immediately freezes, but Sashi is too caught up in the viciousness of the scars to notice that his guest barely breathes as he’s examined. How can the Angels have done this? They bear wings themselves, so to maim another in this way, to forever tie them to the earth… Sashi knows them to be cruel and heartless, but this is extreme. Slowly he moves his fingers over the scars, Lan keeping very still as he does so, every ridge and inch of marred skin carefully traced. How does he bear the loss of the sky and the clouds or the sensation of the wind as it slips through the flight feathers? How can he live without ever soaring above the world again, seeing everything so small below, and knowing that so very few of those who live and die on the Earth will ever experience the simple joy of it all?
Lan’s quiet words pull the Dark from his thoughts and stop the path of his fingers as Sashi listens to him explain what happened. Now he can see why pity is so commonly felt upon seeing a Selestarri who’s lost one or both of their wings. It’s a natural response to knowing that the sky and the freedoms it brings will forever be banned to that person. The sadness of it is etched so deeply upon the Bright, even if he claims to have come to terms with it in some way. But wings are not just an extension of the body, they’re part of the Selestarri identity as a whole and there really is nothing that can ever ease the sense of loss. The white-haired man sighs before turning around once again, the halfhearted smile on his face meant to mask pain that must cut him to the quick. He’s trying so hard to hide it all, and to offer apologies would only throw the effort back in Lan’s face, and so Sashi says nothing and simply allows the Bright to help him into the tub.
The deep water is hot, steam rising from the surface as the raven-haired telepath settles in. The scent of the Eyrie is even stronger this close, attempting to dredge up childhood memories before gentle hands begin to unwrap the bandage around his head. The fabric slips easily away, a small area of dried blood visible for just a second as it slips over the edge of the bathtub and out of sight. The Dark bows his head when careful hands begin to move over his body, inky strands floating in the water all around them as gray eyes slip closed. The pain, stress, and anxiety of the day melt away under Lan’s ministrations, the twin aching of his head and wrist fading a bit as he allows himself to relax. It’s not an easy thing for him to do, to be touched in such a personal way by someone who’s almost a stranger. There’s a large difference between simply sleeping with a person who’s virtually unknown, giving them permission to use and take what they want, and in this kind of intimate situation. He has to trust Lan in order to be like this with him, to stay so close when he’s still weakened from the giving of his magic that morning, and more than anything, trust is the hardest thing for him to give. There have just been too many times he’s been hurt and the protective walls are so thick, but despite the almost impossibility of it all, he’s finding himself wanting desperately to try, to give himself over to this person who showed up out of nowhere and sent his whole world spinning in a short span of hours.
The contact of scarred hands on his skin brings a warmth that sinks much deeper than that of the bath water and creates tiny trails of tingling heat wherever they come to rest. After a few minutes Lan slides Sashi back, a shudder passing through the Dark when soft lips kiss the back of his neck. Pulled close against the slender frame behind him, thundercloud eyes open to meet sun-tinted yellow as his head tilts back, velvety lips just barely grazing his own. He nods very slightly when thanked for the use of his Warden magic, tattooed fingers rising from the water to touch feather-soft strands of snowy white. “Your partner is the one who asked for the meeting,” Sashi replies, their faces still so close. “All I did was choose how deep to forge your connection. I hope you were able to get all that you wished for from your time together.” One of a Warden’s responsibilities is to help both the living and the dead find closure and despite his worries and misgivings about reuniting the Bright and his partner, he does hope that Lan was able to find what he needs in order to move forward with his life. Whatever happened between them is none of his business and it’s enough to know that Lan has chosen to stay and that he doesn’t hate Sashi for who he is. He’d been so sure that he’d leave and the relief that comes from having the worry and anxiety removed is deeper than he can really explain or fully understand.
Closing the almost nonexistent space between them, the telepath falls easily into the heat of the other Selestarri’s mouth, the kiss slow and gentle with an underlying fire that spirals throughout his body in tiny, pulsing sparks. Reluctantly pulling away, Sashi trails his fingers along Lan’s jaw line before settling back against the toned chest behind him. The comfort he feels at being held in the shelter of the Bright’s arms is, like so many other things recently, a new experience. It would take such little effort to become used to being near someone who doesn’t love him only as a best friend or brother, someone who doesn’t just want to use him for sexual gratification or someone who sees only the possible political or social power that the strength of his magic can bring. He doesn’t really know how to react to it quite yet, doesn’t even really know what’s happening between them, actually. Does the Bright truly mean it when he says that he’ll show him what it is to love someone else? Can he promise that when they barely know one another?
But even with the words and pledges made by Lan, the emotion that courses through the Dark is just as tangled as his thoughts have been ever since he met the other man on the road. He’s not sure of his feelings, not sure if he’s just under the allure of meeting someone who can actually understand him or if he really feels something. Is he desperate enough to convince himself of something that doesn’t exist? He does like the Bright and is comfortable being near him, which is more than can be said for the entire population of the world save a very small number of people. Lan has taken the brunt of his sarcasm, has felt the strength of his magic, and has seen him exposed and vulnerable all without leaving, so maybe he really does mean what he’d promised. The telepath refuses to get his hopes up though, just in case he’d misunderstood. It’ll hurt a lot less that way in the end…
Sashi sighs quietly, the jumble of his thoughts threatening to make his head start throbbing again. If his brother were here he’d tell him that he’s over thinking things, and that he should just enjoy this moment with the Bright and leave everything else alone for the time being…. Hesitating just a little, he slips his good hand along Lan’s arm beneath the surface of the water, unsure for a moment before he laces their fingers together. He’s not used to doing things like this, the small, gentle touches that seem to come so easily for others. In the past there’s only been blood and pain or the platonic comfort of Aki and Zeph, nothing at all like Lan has given him, and which he’s at such a loss to return… “Since… since you’re going to be staying,” it’s still such a strange concept to know that there would be another person here for more than just a visit. “You should go down into the village and get some clothes and furniture and whatever else you want for your room.” Carefully repositioning his wrist on the Bright’s knee, Sashi frowns just slightly at the pain that lances through the broken bones, distracted enough that the next words slip from his mouth before he’s completely aware of having spoken aloud. “If you want, though, you can continue to share my bed at night…”
Lan: A smile forms on full lips when tattooed fingers intertwine with his and he tightens his grip in order to hold Sashi’s hand a little closer. While he understands that they’ve only just met, and that neither of them knows the other beyond the space of a few days… these small gestures, these tiny intimate touches mean more to him than he can possibly say. It’s been so long… so long since he was treated with any form of humanity, so long since he’d been able to return it as well and as he sits here holding the Dark so close against him, he’s realizing again just how much he missed it.
He would not tell the Dark what Halacie had said, he wouldn’t say what she tried to do and how desperate she was to have him leave. He was sure Sashi knew regardless - to some extent at least because he had seemed so fearful that once Lan’s time with her had ended, he’d leave upon his return… but the details weren’t anything that will ever need to be said because it would be wrong to repay all this kindness he’s lent him, all the comfort and attention he’s granted with that look she’d had in her eyes. The telepath has given him so much in these last few days, his home, his company, companionship, even injured himself for his sake and so to tell him how much his reunion had actually hurt him would be an unnecessary slap in the face -one that he is not willing to deal out.
He would rather be able to repay him by giving all that he’s promised… an end to the loneliness, broken pieces made whole, comfort and caring, warmth inside and out… He hopes that one day he’ll be able to grant these things and more to the Dark, that he himself can heal enough inside to be able to repay every kindness he’s been lent...
“I have no need of anything beyond some clothing really.” Lan says while sliding their laced hands around Sashi’s frame to pull him just a little farther back towards him and effectively embrace him tight. It is enough that he’s here. Objects mean so very little. “Though I would very much like to be able to continue sharing your bed at night…” the Bright’s voice drops low as he leans down to touch his mouth to the tanned skin of the raven haired Selestarri’s neck. “Very much…”